Learning, Loving, Laughing Even on Weekends

The idea at HaLife is to learn something every day. Like today:

To Build an Organization, Focus on Customers - The key to growing a business lies where it always has, with customers. You have to keep them happy.

To be a longer liver, Guard Your Liver and It Will Serve You Well - Liver diseases are the fourth leading cause of death in Americans between the ages of 15 and 65. Here's how to love your liver.

And for those in a hurry, we do a lot of Quickies:

Telecommuters very productive ... Food before exercise ... National Customer Service Week ... Raising storng boys without men ... Beware of 'fun' Web surveys ...

Lots of lovin' at HaLife:

The Four-Letter Word Everyone Wants to Hear - We live in an age when our daily utterances are often sprinkled with the choicest four letter words, yet we rarely use the four letter word everyone longs to hear.

Living, Laughing in the Past:

If I watch too many reruns I have nightmares. In a dream last week Drew Carey's Mimi sat on me for two hours while Colonel Sanders told me chicken jokes.

The cable networks already have canceled some of their new fall programs: "Bowling for Lawyers," canceled. "Chainsaw Football," canceled. "Senior Citizen Strip Bingo," canceled...

Got weekend plans?

Saturday night is National Popcorn and Tears Movie Appreciation Night. Men can stay home and vacuum.

Okay, so Ernest Tubb was not wacky!

Friday is Do Something Wacky with a Grandparent Day.

I suppose I never really did.

Both grandfathers left before I arrived, and both grandmothers were pretty straight. Mama Hickman would cut a rug while playing the "French harp" now and then, as much a rug as one can cut playing gospel songs.

I took my Grandmother Capps to see Ernest Tubb one time. That was a little wacky for me, but she thought it was wonderful. Ernest Tubb was her favorite, because he married Jimmie Rodgers' widow, as I recall.

I really wish I had some wackier grammy memories. Maybe you can make some.

Romantic Memories

Singer Johnny Mathis is 70 on Friday. In the late 1950s, when they played Johnny's "Chances Are," your girlfriend melted all over the roller rink.

And if they played "The 12th of Never" right before closing time, she was in such a romantic mood on the way home, you didn't even have to buy her a cheeseburger.

The last time I put a Johnny Mathis CD on at bedtime, my wife winked that old familiar wink at me and went right to sleep.

Shed 100 Pounds This Weekend

Most people have hundreds of unwanted pounds around your house. Now, in just one weekend, you can loose 100 pounds or more. Ready? Click!

Today's Shallow Thought:

The new high-definition TV sets have wider screens. Wow, they can show even larger naked butts. Be still, my stomach.

Late News You'll Only Get Here:

John Roberts Jr. became the 17th chief justice of the United States on Thursday. As an indication of things to come, when Roberts was sworn in, he raised his right hand and declined to comment.

This just in. The city council has declared downtown a no-smoking area. It's a public health issue. They're afraid of exploding winos.

Who's slicker than a greased lawyer?

Don't you love quotes?

"God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars."
Who said that?
Elbert Hubbard.

"Tom DeLay is slicker than a greased lawyer."
Who said that?
I did. Just now.

Lots of quotes at Great Quotations.

Black Is the Color for Fall

After a period of emphasizing bright colors and patterns, fashion designers are blasting back with black for everything from cocktail dresses to tailored suits and fitted coats.

See how we learn stuff on this blog?

The Farm Story

One day the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country. He wanted to show his son how poor people live. What the child learned left the father speechless.

A great little story just added yesterday. Go ahead. Click it.

This Date in Fun

The U.S. created the Regular Army on September 29, 1789. Before that, the U.S. had to make do with an irregular army. And no nation could feel secure with an army suffering from irregularity.

I was Regular Army. A combat historian covering Berlin. Fortunately, it was after the combat ended and Berliners treated us like kings. Wow, what a city!

Today's astute observations:

Something I've noticed about cellular phones. If you use them a lot, you pay a lot. If you don't use them much, you pay a lot.

Have you ever noticed, when you see those good ole boys riding around in a pickup truck with their dog sitting beside them on the front seat, how much more intelligent the dog looks?

Happy Woolly Bear Caterpillar Reading Day!

Don't you love quotes?

Who said it? "If you want peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies."
- Moshe Dayan

Who said it? "There are no atheists in foxholes -- darn few Repubicans either."
- I did.

To Learn, To Love:

One thing we all need to learn is How to Heal a Broken Heart
- Acute grief is caused by immediate loss or tragedy. It creates pain in the body and mind. It leaves raw emotions exposed. HaLife can help begin the healing process.

Today's worst one-liner:

Another TV series that just might make it on cable: television's first satanic sit-com -- "I Love Lucifer."

Former FEMA director Michael Brown on Tuesday blamed others for most government failures in responding to Hurricane Katrina. Obviously, Brown is preparing for a new career in politics.
- He just might be presidential material. (From Laughs Today)

I have this recurring nightmare: Jerry Jones buys Arkansas, Bill Clinton goes back and is crowned king, and Barry Switzer commands the militia.They build this big ugly concrete wall right through the middle of Texarkana...

Are all journalists cynics?
Yeah, I think so.
And comedy writers for sure.

But I like to look on the bright side. Suppose the automobile had never been invented and everybody still had to ride a horse. Just think how bad that freeway from Houston to Dallas would smell right now.

Long-Range Weather

Wednesday is Woolly Bear Caterpillar Reading Day, the best day of the year to read your woolly bear caterpillar. If his fur is blonde, we'll have a mild winter. If it's black, we'll have a long, cold winter. If he's wearing earmuffs -- you might want to fly south.

National Shut Up and Let Somebody Else Talk Day

Tuesday is National Shut Up and Let Somebody Else Talk Day.

What a wonderful idea!

There are two types of people: talkers and listeners. Unfortunately, the listeners get tired of listening long before the talkers get tired of talking.

So if you're a talker, on Tuesday see if you can just shut up for 24 hours. I know you can.

I found this special observance at Trivia Today. They have important stuff like that every day.

We Must Be Filled with Laughter. It's Our Duty

I discovered the joy of laughter very early in life. I cackled constantly to the radio goofyness of Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks. And Judy Canova, Red Skelton, even Rod Brasfield and Minnie Pearl on the Grand Ole Opry.

Laughter is what I do and I want others to join in.

We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, "What amazing things the Lord has done for them."

There are way too many sourpusses in this world who look like they were baptized in a vinegar vat. My goal is to laugh.

Find loads of family laughs at HaLife Family Fun Files, with more on the way.

Today's Shallow Thought: Why can't children sit quietly and read a book until they're 18?