Who's Listening?

Big News

A federal judge ruled Thursday the Bush Administration's warrantless surveillance of Americans' phone calls is unconstitutional and ordered an immediate halt to it. The White House was too busy eavesdropping to respond.

August 18th

The movie "Wizard of Oz" premiered on August 18th in 1938. That's right, the Wicked Witch of the West has been intimidating Munchkins everywhere for over six decades. And they still love it.
- What a wonderfully happy, reassuring movie -- especially for those of us without a brain.

Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter is 79 on Friday. I bet Rosalynn and Barbara Bush like each other. They probably get together and have a ball telling Nancy Reagan jokes.

On August 18th in 1964 a new disease called "Beatlemania" broke out in the U.S. Four British rock singers smuggled the germs through customs in their hair.

Meriwether Lewis was born on August 18th in 1774. With his buddy, Bill Clark, Lewis discovered lots of stuff west of the Mississippi -- especially Oregon, Washington, and poison ivy.

Love & Learn

Parent Care - Marriage may end, but Social Security benefits might not.

Films in Focus: New & Recent Releases - Quick reviews and rating of newly released films: World Trade Center, Little Miss Sunshine, Step Up, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, Scoop, The Ant Bully, Lady in the Water, You, Me and Dupree, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, The Devil Wears Prada, Superman Returns, Waist Deep.

Aging Lifestyles - '1 day at a time' adds up to years.

DVD Select - Newest and best available on DVDs, including Dossier, RV, Scary Movie 4, L'Enfant (The Child), Hoot, The Clark Gable Collection, The Simpsons Season 8, Remington Steele Seasons 4 and 5, Full House Season 4, The Flying Nun Season 2, and others.

Shallow Thoughts

I love barbecue. I think the carcinogens taste almost as good as the saturated fat.

The opening day of school is always exciting, especially when mothers throw themselves in front of the school bus to make sure it stops.

I can't help it if I'm out of shape. When I was young my roll model was a jelly doughnut.

Elvis, Davy, and a Goat

Big News

Elvis fans from around the world were in Memphis Wednesday, honoring the 29th anniversary of The King's death. This year once again, the older fatter Elvis fans outnumbered the younger, thinner Elvis fans.

August 17th

Davy Crockett was born on August 17th in 1786. He wore a coonskin cap. If you’ve never seen a coonskin cap, just imagine Regis Philbin on a bad hair day.

On August 17th in 1959 a 7.1 earthquake struck Yellowstone National Park. By the way, when Jell-O salad is jiggling during picnics, it’s an early earthquake warning.
- It’s a late warning if the combo salad is tossing itself.

On August 17th in 10,429 B.C. in Armenia, the first goat was domesticated.
- Honest.
- I got the story from a reliable source -- The Armenian Enquirer.
- The goat's name was Casper. He was so easy to domesticate, they called him Casper the friendly goat.

The U.S. government moved from New York to Philadelphia on August 17th in 1790. Later it was moved to York, Lancaster, Trenton, Princeton, Baltimore, Annapolis, and Washington, D.C. Apparently, it was cheaper to move than to pay rent.

Love & Learn

Today's Scene: West Nile Virus - Fortitude in the face of a mysterious illness.

Editorial: An Iraq Odyssey - On the Monday after Thanksgiving this year (Nov. 27) the United States will have been at war in Iraq for 1,340 days, as long as it was at war during World War II.

Decor Score - Creating two rooms from one without building a wall.

Today's Soap Opera Update:

On "The Guiding Shiite," over early cocktails, Lady Hotflash's new gardener Rasheesh, tells her ways he'd like to tame her unruly hibiscus.

Shallow Thoughts

I could never go to a nude beach. I couldn't afford that much sunscreen.

Do you realize, if we ever capture Osama bin Laden, there won't be anybody left who's really fun to hate.

Harking Back, Elvis

Big News

Dell is recalling 4.1 million laptop computer batteries with the potential of catching fire. Dell made the decision after 999 out of 1,000 Americans said the absolutely last place they wanted a fire was their lap..
- One guy, the inventor of fire retardant Speedos, apparently thought a lap fire might be cool.
- Apparently, almost no one has a smoke alarm installed in their lap.

August 16th

Elvis Presley died 29 years ago Wednesday. If Elvis were still alive, he’d be 71 now—around the waist.
- He'd probably be doing commercials for Ultra Slim-Fast.
- And on late-night TV, he'd be selling his genuine Elvis Bellybouncer -- and patented blue suede hair.

Elvis died in 1977 on Madonna's 19th birthday, but she had nothing to do with it.
- Even though she was seen later wearing a teddy made from one of his jumpsuits.
- Elvis, himself, told The Globe that was just a coincidence.

The U.S. and Canada signed the first international migratory bird treaty on August 16th in 1916. This treaty was really for the birds.
- Under the agreement, birds can cross the U.S.-Canadian border anytime they want to without going through customs -- as long as they promise not to sell anything in Canada.

Babe Ruth died on August 16th in 1948. The Babe was one of baseball's greatest hitters. In fact, he made opposing pitchers sweat so much, on their way to the showers they looked like they'd already showered.

Love & Learn

Nature Newswatch - Find another of God's fascinating creatures or plants each week. Great things to look for on family picnics, field trips and outings.

Lifewire - Get rid of belly flab without exercise? Fat chance!

Summer Hazards, Frustrations - Bites, bumps, stings, sunburn and the heat can ruin your summer if you're not ready.

Film Closeup: Will Ferrell - Will Ferrell stars in the Columbia Pictures comedy "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby."

Today's beauty tip:

Remember, you may be going to a bad beauty salon if they do electrolysis with jumper cables.

Harking Back...

I was such a sloppy kid, on trash day they had to lock me up for my own safety.

Celebrity Trash!

Big News

Boy George started his court-ordered community service Monday, sweeping leaves and trash off the sidewalks of New York. What do you want to bet he saves the trash and auctions it off on eBay?

August 15th

Fourteen students from Tydfil, Wales, set a world record on August 15th in 1975 by leap-frogging 399 miles. That was a new human leap-frog record -- nobody knows much about records by real frogs.
- Except, of course, one year Kermit did win a Grammy.

The Hay Fever Season begins August 15th. The Secretary of Agriculture will throw out the first ragweed.
- Hay Fever is a miserable condition caused when dust and pollen cozy up to your nose. You can prevent it by not breathing.
- Of course, Hay Fever isn't really a terrible disease -- but it's nothing to sneeze at either.

Thomas Lawrence, the British soldier known as "Lawrence of Arabia, " was born on August 15th in 1888. Lawrence led the Arabs during World War I. I saw the movie about him and I have to admit, he did look good in a sheet.

August 15th is National Relaxation Day. Here’s how to relax:
- Go fishing in a Lazy-Boy bass boat. Don’t bait the hook.
- Take a nice long bubble bath in a mountain stream.
- Go to the park and swing. Do not go down the slide in shorts.
- Walk barefoot through thick, cool, green Jell-O.
- Buy some bubble gum and look for your old Donnie & Marie records. Don’t find them.
- Call an old friend and laugh again about the same things you always laugh about.
- Spend the afternoon browsing at Hooters' Hardware.

Love & Learn

Teen Dating Divide - Teen socializing can pose a dilemma for parents, and new research reveals surprising findings about its effect on adult relationships.

TV Closeup: Jennifer Finnigan - Jennifer Finnigan stars as a prosecutor in the television series 'Close to Home' on CBS.

Autoword: Jaguar XK - Top-notch Jaguar: Smooth-running convertible looks great coming, going.

Today's Hot Weather Tip:

No matter how hot you get, do NOT.. ever .. put dry ice in your shorts.

Shallow Thoughts

My first disc jockey job was many years ago -- in a hospital.
- I played the hits in Medical Records.
- I played hits like "I Want to Hold Your Pancreas"
- I'll Never By-Pass this Way Again."
- And the ever-popular "Send a Check to Me for Your Hysterectomy."

Scuba Divers Are All Wet

August 14th

Singer David Crosby is 65 on Monday. David is truly unique. He's the only bald singer with long hair.
- And David's mustache looks like it hates him.

The U.S. Social Security system was enacted on August 14th in 1935. And isn't it wonderful? Every month millions of elderly Americans get a check that's almost enough to pay the rent.
- Today, thanks to Social Security, every older American is guaranteed the right to life, liberty, and enough money to pay at least a portion of their electric bill.

National Scuba Diving Week begins Monday, but you can't get too excited about it. For one thing, scuba divers are all wet.
- And have you noticed? While scuba diving it's very hard to tell if your antiperspirant is working.

Today's exciting scuba diving trivia question: What does the word "scuba" mean?
- There is no such word as "scuba." The letters s-c-u-b-a stand for self-contained underwater breathing apparatus -- as, of course, do the letters g-i-l-l.

Love & Learn

'Tween 12 and 20 - Your wife is right, get rid of the snuff ... Alcoholism defined ... Summer flings often falter .. Help needed for heavy parents ... Love yourself but love others, too ... Cocaine destroys lives one way or another .. Every girl has a right to say no ... Date guys your own age .. Students should limit work schedule ... Pregnant women should not smoke...

Hot Tips for Hot Bodies - Or, When You're Hot, Hotshot, You're Not Cool.

Video Game Reviews - "Lord of The Rings: Battle for Middle Earth 2" and "Rogue Trooper."

Shallow Thoughts

Nothing worthwhile happens in August. In August even holidays go on vacation.

Know why kids love stuffed animals so much? They never tell them what to do.

Fashions for today's blog are from Hot Stuff, your teen headquarters for the latest designer originals. After the movie, just look for the Hot Stuff truck out behind the theater.
- Remember our special teenagers' guarantee: If you buy something your parents like, you can bring it back.