Bush Wins Nobel Piece Prize!
Big News
Iraqi officials want the security company Blackwater USA out of their country within six months. That sounds fair. Surely within six months Blackwater can find a country that will take them.
- May not be able to afford them....
- Maybe some of our tougher illegal aliens will volunteer to go over and protect our diplomats.
- Apparently, it is a job nobody else wants..
This just in. President George W. Bush today was awarded the Nobel Piece Prize for his efforts toward obtaining a piece of Iraq, a piece of Afghanistan, and planning for a piece of Iran.
You realize nobody's watching the debates. They're too boring. I say, have the candidates tell the audience why they want to win and why each of the other candidates should not win. Then the second 15 minutes they have the dance contest and the swimsuit competition...
- And then each week they let everybody vote off one candidate.
- By the time next year's primaries roll around maybe we'll have some new candidates who can cut a rug and look better in swimsuits.
Love & Learn
Digging Deeper into Dying - It's Halloween and, once again, gruesome images of death and the dead haunt the scene. "People think death is a scary process," says Kathy Kalbacken. "I don't see dying like that."
Wedding Style Changes with the Season - Brides and grooms are being lured by a handful of new wedding trends this fall and winter. From feasting tables and food kiosks to vintage decor and specialty chairs, local and national wedding experts reveal the cool-weather-wedding hot list.
Top Odd Stories of the Week - From all sources worldwide -- a bunch of really oddball stuff.
A Game Anyone Can Play - The most miserable people live in their own little worlds of isolation. They do little for others and rarely have much fun. But they can play "the game" and change all that.
The Shocking Truth About Okra! - Everything you always suspected but could never get confirmed by a reputable news source. [Large print edition.]
Texas Hill Country Twinkles for Christmas - Most destinations with a meld of European and American heritage most certainly don't have cowboys and pickups riding through their cores. But all that - plus spectacular scenery, parkland preserves, and an array of Euro and down-home dining options - are in and around Texas Hill Country.
The Mountaintop - Jesus took me to the mountaintop the other day. Jesus takes people to the mountaintop all the time. He doesn't take me all that often. Probably because I stay too busy to go.
Shallow Thoughts
Autumn has arrived. Soon the roaches will stop crawling into the house looking for water and start crawling in to get out of the cold.
Cultures are different. In Mexico they swing sticks at brightly colored, empty-headed animals called "pinatas." In Canada, it's called "hockey."
I'll tell you what kind of luck I have. I went to a funeral and caught the bouquet.
Ever wonder why the root word in funeral is fun?
Why don't baseball teams have cheerleaders? Simple. It would be too messy to yell cheers with a mouthful of tobacco juice.
I used to slur my words a lot, but with hard work and experience I developed the self-confidence required to mispronounce them distinctly.
Iraqi officials want the security company Blackwater USA out of their country within six months. That sounds fair. Surely within six months Blackwater can find a country that will take them.
- May not be able to afford them....
- Maybe some of our tougher illegal aliens will volunteer to go over and protect our diplomats.
- Apparently, it is a job nobody else wants..
This just in. President George W. Bush today was awarded the Nobel Piece Prize for his efforts toward obtaining a piece of Iraq, a piece of Afghanistan, and planning for a piece of Iran.
You realize nobody's watching the debates. They're too boring. I say, have the candidates tell the audience why they want to win and why each of the other candidates should not win. Then the second 15 minutes they have the dance contest and the swimsuit competition...
- And then each week they let everybody vote off one candidate.
- By the time next year's primaries roll around maybe we'll have some new candidates who can cut a rug and look better in swimsuits.
Love & Learn
Digging Deeper into Dying - It's Halloween and, once again, gruesome images of death and the dead haunt the scene. "People think death is a scary process," says Kathy Kalbacken. "I don't see dying like that."
Wedding Style Changes with the Season - Brides and grooms are being lured by a handful of new wedding trends this fall and winter. From feasting tables and food kiosks to vintage decor and specialty chairs, local and national wedding experts reveal the cool-weather-wedding hot list.
Top Odd Stories of the Week - From all sources worldwide -- a bunch of really oddball stuff.
A Game Anyone Can Play - The most miserable people live in their own little worlds of isolation. They do little for others and rarely have much fun. But they can play "the game" and change all that.
The Shocking Truth About Okra! - Everything you always suspected but could never get confirmed by a reputable news source. [Large print edition.]
Texas Hill Country Twinkles for Christmas - Most destinations with a meld of European and American heritage most certainly don't have cowboys and pickups riding through their cores. But all that - plus spectacular scenery, parkland preserves, and an array of Euro and down-home dining options - are in and around Texas Hill Country.
The Mountaintop - Jesus took me to the mountaintop the other day. Jesus takes people to the mountaintop all the time. He doesn't take me all that often. Probably because I stay too busy to go.
Shallow Thoughts
Autumn has arrived. Soon the roaches will stop crawling into the house looking for water and start crawling in to get out of the cold.
Cultures are different. In Mexico they swing sticks at brightly colored, empty-headed animals called "pinatas." In Canada, it's called "hockey."
I'll tell you what kind of luck I have. I went to a funeral and caught the bouquet.
Ever wonder why the root word in funeral is fun?
Why don't baseball teams have cheerleaders? Simple. It would be too messy to yell cheers with a mouthful of tobacco juice.
I used to slur my words a lot, but with hard work and experience I developed the self-confidence required to mispronounce them distinctly.
posted by Joe Hickman at 3:02 PM
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