Tattooless and 100% Wrinkled

Big News

Paris Hilton is now so well known, the Republicans have no choice but to run her for President.
- Face it, those other candidates will be elected President the same year we see George W. Bush's picture on a box of Wheaties.

After only three days behind bars, Paris Hilton traded a 12-by-8-foot cell for her 2,700-square-foot Hollywood Hills home when she was released Thursday because of an unspecified medical condition. Rumor is Paris is suffering from RHS -- Restless Head Syndrome.
- They'll have to watch her closely. She will break out of her ankle monitor, pick up Britney, and boogie 'till the cows come home.
- And in L.A., the cows are as unpredictable as the justice system.
- Particularly the one wearing the ankle monitor

Wow, what an NBA championship series, huh? At least four players and 17 tattoos could make the NBA Hall of Fame.

Love & Learn

Tween 12 and 20: Cool Advice for Teens and Their Parents - The makings of maturity ... Mom made a major mistake ... If harassment continues, fight back ... 'Druggie' shares woeful tale ... Instant mom needs help ... Sex no guarantee of love ...

Pop Talk: The Hold Steady - If there was ever a band holding steady on an odd career path, it's The Hold Steady. Nothing about this band makes any sense. Then, suddenly, it's band of the year.

The 10 Worst Things in Sports - Bottom feeding in the world of sports, sure to stir up a fuss with somebody. Maybe you.

Film Closeup: Orlando Bloom - Orlando Bloom says he has bittersweet feelings about the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise coming to a close with the final installment, "At World's End."

Eureka! - Discoveries for the scientifically bent. But fun for everyone. New science, super brain teasers, great trivia, and fun facts every week.

Shallow Thoughts

There was lots of excitement at the wedding. A bridesmaid caught the bouquet and was immediately signed by the Rangers.

Summertime, ..and the livin' is easy... Fish are smelly .. and the cotton is 100 percent wrinkled...

All I can say is, if Osama bin Laden ever shows his ugly face on this blog, he's in real trouble.

Maybe Pitchers Could Call Balls & Strikes

Big News

In a leap forward for stem cell research, three independent teams of scientists reported Wednesday they have produced the equivalent of embryonic stem cells in mice without the controversial destruction of embryos. Which begs the question: Who on earth cares if they destroy mice embryos?
- Okay, maybe Mickey Mouse deserves special consideration.
- Republicans can push through a constitutional amendment...

President Bush tells the G8 summit he prefers to let businesses voluntarily cut greenhouse gas emissions to control global warming. Yeah, that's a great idea. It's worked really well for 200 years.
- Sort of like letting the Mafia voluntarily fight crime.
- Terrorists voluntarily check themselves aboard airliners...

Scientists said Wednesday a prehistoric hunter known as Oetzi whose well-preserved body was found on a snow-covered mountain in the Alps died more than 5,000 years ago after being struck in the back by an arrow. Wow, talk about a cold case!

Love & Learn

Where's the Outrage over the Latest Assault on Women? - Are liberals big, fat hypocrites? How else to explain the dearth of outrage over remarks broadcast on "Opie & Anthony," a radio show that puts the "moron" in moronic?

Keeping Safe at Home - It may not be as easy as some think. The Home Safety Council wants you to be aware of the everyday dangers you may encounter at home. And guess what? June is National Home Safety Awareness Month.

What Not to Buy Dad for Father's Day - Before you buy another polo shirt, another pair of khaki shorts or another predictable tie, stop and rethink your dad's (and your) sense of style. It may be time for dad to get a makeover, and you may be the one to bring him into the modern world of fashion.

Bringing Butterflies to Your Yard - To attract butterflies you must work to provide both lifecycle stages a home, the caterpillar and the adult butterfly. But it's fun.

To Be Equal: Africa - Ghana stands as trailblazer for African independence.

Shallow Thoughts

I think it's going to be a hot summer. My dog has shed all of his hair. And his ears are loose.

You needs lots of three things for a healthy garden: fertilizer, water, and Absorbine Jr.

I think my wife is using too much fabric softener. This morning I wanted to be alone with my socks.

They couldn't light a fire under the Texas Rangers if they ground up jalopena peppers in their Preparation-H.