Sunday, November 25, 2007

Are Democrats Better Looking?

Big News

Iraq's most influential Shiite politician said Sunday the U.S had not backed up claims that Iran is fueling violence in Iraq. Well, America is certainly not fueling violence in Iraq. We flew in there five years ago .... unarmed .... to build schools, right?
- Maybe Iran doesn't want Iraqi children to have schools.
- Maybe the deciders in Iraq know about as much about what's happening there as I do.

Is it just me or are the Democratic presidential candidates better looking than the Republicans? Or maybe the Republicans are just older and whiter?
- Hey, I'm a comedy journalist. I always try to ask goofy, probing questions.

Love & Learn

Silent Plight: For some, the holidays are a time of stress and strain - Christmas carols trumpet across crowded malls. Tiny lights twinkle from rooftops and trees. Homes fill with laughter and frivolity. And all you want to do is burrow into the sofa with the TV remote and a bag of Oreos. Well, may we offer some ways to banish the blues from the season?

Lou Dobbs sees himself as fighting the good fight against the elite - "Most Americans live at the center," Dobbs says, "and they think and they feel at the center of society. Independents ... are focused on what is good for the country, on what is good for America."

Holiday Travel Tips - Holiday traveling takes special planning, especially by air and with children. Here are some important ideas to make planning quick and easy.

Celebrities News - To gossip or not to gossip? You decide.

Fire Ants Beware! - Normally, I am not in favor of most home recipes that try to substitute for legal pesticides. However, today I am looking for volunteers to try a new possible solution to fire ants and maybe even other insect pests. It's incredibly simple.

Holiday History Quiz - What a month for God. Hanukkah begins Dec. 4, Christmas arrives Dec. 25, Kwanzaa starts the next day, Hajj gets under way Dec. 18, with Eid al-Adha on Dec. 20.

Shallow Thoughts

Our basketall league is tough. We had a referee but he quit. He said our games look like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in baggy shorts.

I'm thankful football players don't chew tobacco. It could get awfully juicey at the bottom of that pile.

My dog is so mean... just imagine Osama bin Laden with four legs.
I've screwed up so much around here, people will think I'm in charge.

Okay, now, as soon as everyone balances upside-down verrrry carefully on top of your computer, we'll get on with the sanity test.