Saturday, October 25, 2008

Who Can Protect Us Best from the Great Pumpkin?

The latest polls indicate the presidential race seems to be turning slightly toward the Democrats. Uh-oh. Republicans may have to bring back their sublimininenimal TV commercials.
- In the latest Reuters-MSNBC poll Wednesday, Obama edged ahead but analysts said the outcome of the election probably would depend on which party's constituents turn out to vote -- and, of course, how many times they vote.

St Louis Blues goalie Manny Legace injured a hip Friday night when he slipped on the carpet placed on the ice for Sarah Palin to drop the ceremonial first puck. No word on what the carpet cost.
- Manny wasn't watching where he was skating because he was so surprised to see a hockey mom with all her teeth.

John McCain says he learned all his politics from Ronald Reagan. But Democrats are pretty sure he learned some on his recent campaign tactics from George W. Bash.

McCain says he just doesn't have enough money to fight Obama. The Republican National Committee was going to help, but Palin needed new shoes.

Republicans are expected to rev up the fear tactics this week. Like Sarah Palin will tell Americans a liberal cannot possibly protect them from the Great Pumpkin.

Maybe you heard. The Tampa Bay-Philadelphia World Series has pulled such low TV ratings, next year the World Series will be played at half-time on Sunday Night Football.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A New Republican Role Model

The Chicago Tribune endorsed Obama, first time in over 100 years the Tribune endorsed a Democrat. No word yet on the really important endorsement, however -- Mad magazine.

The Tribune joined the L.A. Times and the Washington Post in endorsing Obama, citing his intellect and good character. Of course, the polls indicate instead of intellect and good character, many Americans may want another Republican.

Having now collected more than $605 million altogether, Barack Obama has become a role model for rich Republicans. In fact, Republicans wouldn't be able to stand it if their minds weren't so consumed with losing a fortune in the stock market.
- Talk about a double deep depression.

But Obama better win. When Michelle finds out the Republicans spent $150,000 on clothes for Palin and Barack has raised $650 million -- and Michele didn't even get new jeans -- the new president definitely will be tested!

Republicans say Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardobe will be given to charity after the election. Might as well, it probably wouldn't bring that much at a Wasilla garage sale.

Baseball is still America's pastime -- though making speeches about restoring integrity to Washington is a close second.