Awful News! Just Awful.

The Stock Market is bracing for awful news. Investors this week are expecting company report cards that may show the worst quarter for corporate profits in a decade. Okay, so?
-- So who needs a job anyway?
-- I mean, most of us always dreamed of an extended vacation.
-- With unemployment.
-- This could be the best thing that ever happened?
-- I think I'll ask my financial advisor -- Alfred E. Newman.

Republicans are resisting President Obama's stimulus plan unless the wealthy get permanent tax cuts. I say go ahead and let 'em have their tax cuts, 'cause by the time they get 'em they won't be wealthy anymore anyway.
-- Then they'll have to pay the middle-class tax increases like everybody else.

President Obama signed an executive order on Thursday to close the military detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. Rumors say Dick Cheney will buy it and turn it into a fancy hotel and gun range.
-- A place where congressmen and senators can go to relax and shoot off their frustrations, at lobbyists expense, of course.

Microsoft says it is cutting 5,000 jobs over the next 18 months --more than 5 percent of its work force. Just in time for the government's program to retrain the unemployed for computer jobs.