Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Ask Your Doctor & Start Slowly

June 7th

Singer Tom Jones was born on June 7th in 1940. Tom was an innovator in stage fashions. In fact, he was the first to wear the leather in his pants tighter than it was on the cow.

Today is Boone Day, marking June 7th in 1767 when Daniel Boone first sighted Kentucky. Daniel was a cool dude. Today, you know he'd wear his coonskin cap with the tail in front.

French painter Paul Gaugin was born on June 7th in 1848. After leaving his wife and five kids, giving up his career as a successful stock broker, running off to Tahiti, becoming sick and destitute, and lousing up a suicide attempt, Gaugin became the Father of Modern Art.
- Moral: If at first you don't fail, try it in Tahiti.
- Gaugin was the one who didn't cut off his ear. Instead, he went to Tahiti to paint the native girls nude. But when they all laughed, he put his clothes back on.

On June 7th in 1960 the artist formerly known as Prince was born. He wasn't a real prince. In fact, his only tie to a royal family is that sometimes he buys shoes in the same store as Fergie.

Love & Learn

Researcher Studies Connection Between Autism, Vaccines - The absolute truth about autism and mercury is as slippery and hard to grab as a bead of quicksilver on a clean glass surface. It's no longer dismissed as a wild-eyed theory clung to by desperate-for-answers family members of children with autism.

Sports Roundup - Spring brings a new crop of golf books.

Scanning the Bookshelf - "The Toughest Show on Earth: My Rise and Reign at the Metropolitan Opera," by Met general manager Joseph Volpe gives the impression that running America's foremost opera company is the second most important job in New York.

Editorial: Don't Let Resentment Smolder - A recent road accident in Kabul, however, has brought to light a problem that, left untended, could doom U.S. efforts to tame the Taliban and create a reasonably democratic and stable government in that country. From the Milwaukee Journal.

Boon Docking Provides RV Alternatives - You might be surprised how many RV vacationers spend a night or two in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

Today's exciting Thought for the Day:

Have you noticed? No matter what language people speak, they always sneeze in English?

And remember:

June is the month for marriage. But, if you're over 40, be sure to check with your doctor and start slowly.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Here's to Regiomontanus

June 6th

Tuesday is D-Day, the anniversary of the Allied invasion of Europe at Normandy. Older Americans remember it as the big war, primarily because it was the last one we won.

The world's tallest totem pole was raised on June 6th in 1973 at Alert Bay, British Columbia. It's 174 feet tall and tells the story of the Kwakiutl Indians. Which is probably a very interesting story, but I don't think I'd climb a 174-foot totem pole to read it.
- Besides, I can't even read regular Polish, much less totem Polish.

German astronomer Regiomontanus was born on June 6th in 1436. Regio drew up the planetary motion tables and navigation maps that helped keep Christopher Columbus from falling off the edge of the Earth. Without Regio we might all still be speaking Aztec.

Love & Learn

Fitness Forum - This lady consulted a nutritionist and worked out with a trainer to lose nearly 80 pounds.

Home Entertainment Systems Consuming Ever-Greater Amounts of Electricity - Try this at home: Turn off all the lights, the air conditioner and the washer, dryer and other appliances. Unplug the refrigerator. Then go outside and look at the power meter. It's still spinning, isn't it?

Video Game Reviews - "Blazing Angels: Squadrons of World War II" and "Neighbors from Hell: On Vacation"

Today's beach observation

Ever notice it's a lot easier to get sand in your swimsuit than to get it out?

By the way, today marks the passing on this day in 1975 of the first TV talk show host, Simon Cesspool. Incredibly, every afternoon at 4:00, a mysterious lady dressed in black ... throws a bag of garbage on his grave.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Snake Memorial Day

Big News

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert says he will meet Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas to urge the resumption of negotiations on a peace plan. Wow! If the Israelis and the Palestinians can get together and talk, who knows? Maybe some day Democrats and Republicans can do it.
- Maybe the lion will lie down with the lamb and Rush Limbaugh and Hillary will go square dancing.

June 5th in Fun History

On June 5th in 1977 singer Alice Cooper's boa constrictor was fatally bitten by a live rat it was being fed for breakfast. Dumb snake. It should have stuck to Fruit Loops.

On cinco de juno in 1876 vendors at the Philadelphia Exposition introduced bananas to America. They sold for 10-cents each, plus 2-cents deposit on the peel.
- By the way, studies have shown that spreading Vaseline on a banana does not make it easier to peel.

June 5th is Career Nurse Assistants Day. A nurse assistant is the person who has to do the nurse’s job because the nurse is too busy doing the doctor’s job.
- Because the doctor is too busy on the golf course — putting and driving up the cost of health care.

Actor William Boyd was born on June 5th in 1895. He played Hopalong Cassidy in 66 movies and a hundred TV shows. All the great western heroes wore black: Hopalong Cassidy, Lash LaRue ... Johnny Cash .... LaToya Jackson....

Love & Learn

There's No Turning Off the TV - Nowadays TVs are on display at gyms, gas stations and during entertainment or sports events -- and now the bus window.

DVD Select - Newest and best available on DVDs, including Stephen Tobolowsky's Birthday Party, Date Movie, Freedomland, Marilyn Monroe's 80th Birthday Celebration, and others.

Beat the Heat with Sizzling Summer Fashions - Summer is a great time to take a break not only from your everyday routines, but also from the tried-and-true fashion favorites that may have fallen a little flat lately.

Gasoline Conservation for Dummies - Here's how to save big bucks on gasoline. Or not.

Et al.

Garage sales are where people try to sell stuff they're ashamed to give away.

My driver's license photo wasn't bad. So they took it again.

Maybe if more parents took kids to church, fewer kids would have to go to jail to find religion.

The healthiest thing in my wife's garden is the broccoli. Even insects won't eat broccoli.
- Actually, that's not entirely true. Those little green worms will eat a bite or two if you add cheese sauce.