Monday, September 03, 2007

Aghanissippi? Valedogtorian?

Big News

This just in: No Republican senator resigned Monday. One high-ranking party spokesperson wearing pants said it's probably because the Labor Day weekend is sort of for Democrats and their illegal alien buddies.
- But Tuesday, "Who knows how many Republicans will resign?" the spokesperson said, "After all, none of them needs the money,"
- "And they're at the age when they spend a lot of time in restrooms."

President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq on Monday -- to watch the British troops leave.
- He spent almost seven hours in Iraq. Which is just enough to justify a war hero room at the Bush Library.

While in Iraq Monday, President Bush met with General Petraeus, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and other top officials from Baghdad. He invited Osama bin Laden, but Osama was having his annual bath, beard and toenail trim and begged off.

President Bush will attend the Australia economic summit this week in Sydney. It's a pretty shrewd move. By leaving the country for a week, people tend to forget him and his popularity numbers go up.
- Also, he can't be blamed for everyone who resigns.
- And Cheney's promised not to shoot anybody while he's gone.

Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr declares his militia is suspending activity and will no longer attack coalition forces in Iraq. Al-Sadr said, seeing Miss Teen South Carolina's video made him realize U.S. Americans in South Africa and even future illegal U.S. alien Americans from Guatemala and Aghanissippi are no threat to his country.

Love & Learn

A Soldier's Story: Coming Home - While the chaplain prayed, Sara pressed her hand against the coffin. Her son wasn't in there, she told herself. The bomb had blown the life out of him. Josh's father had wanted his son buried at Arlington National Cemetery. But Sara chose the memorial park just four miles from her home. Now that he was back in California, she would never let Josh leave her again.

Rock Church, One of the Nation's Largest - "The Bible is real, dealing with real issues," Miles McPherson said during a Sunday service at the Rock's Serra Mesa quarters in San Diego. Soon, he'll preach in the church's first real home in Point Loma's Liberty Station.

Real Liberation - Nancy, with M.S., could no longer walk and spent her waking hours in a wheelchair. "I'm not 'confined' to a wheelchair," she insisted one day. "It doesn't confine me. It sets me free."

New Fall TV Losers - New fall TV shows that didn't make it onto the networks, yet they might get a spot on .. "The Spinoff Channel." Of course, with bad TV apparently "In" these days, any one of these losers could be a giant hit.

When Are You Too Old? - When is "too old"? At what age do we give up? At 100? At 88? How about 103? It can become a very important question.

Shallow Thoughts

I was part of the federal witness relocation program. Actually, I had very little usefull information, so they just moved me across the street.

It's so hot you don't know whether to rub on sunscreen or barbecue sauce.

Thank goodness football season is here. I mean, the kids were actually forgetting the words to the beer commercials.

Those parental discretion warnings came too late for me. I already had the kids.

My doctor has me on a salad diet. Last night I had a chcken turkey pasta ham bacon and cheesecake salad.

My dog did great at obedience school. In fact, he was valedogtorian.