Yea, It's Over!

John McCain is really happy today. The campaign is over and he doesn't have to smile constantly and act happy all the time. That's hard for a guy McCain's age. Now he can be as grumpy as he wants -- which is more natural for a guy who's 72 and a member of the GOP -- the Grumpy Old Party.
.....For the next four years, Republicans can just be themselves.

Hey, if somebody's got to lose, it's better for the guys who can afford it...... Isn't that right, Mr. Limbaugh?

I was worried Obama might not make it, especially after somebody broke into his campaign headquarters and let the air out of his speeches.

Barrack Obama, a lowly community organizer, organized hundreds of communities to help him raise hundreds of millions of dollars. Now, millions of Republicans are encouraging their kids and grandkids to become community organizers.

Congratulations to President-elect Barrack Obama -- and congratulations to America -- for making a decision with no need for recounts or lawsuits.....And now, may everyone relax and enjoy the end of the political campaign. And everyone at Fox News, go ahead, take off until the inauguration.

It's just so great to see the campaign end so we can get down to the real business of making fun of a new president.

So many voters were deciding on state issues like abortion and same-sex marriage. Do you realize, with a same sex marriage, there can be no abortion? I didn't hear anybody using that argument.

Election Day -- Keep a Straight Face!

Democrats charged today that Republican submission to "the special interests" was the cause of the current economic fiasco. Democrats, of course, are just plain wrong. There's nothing special about Republican interests -- the same ones they've always submitted to.
....Republicans love guns, tobacco, alcohol, gambling, drugs, and oil. You'd think they'd sold their souls if they weren't so moral.

In yet another campaign attack, Barrack Obama accused John McCane of "bending the truth" about his tax plan. "Bending the truth," is that like bashing someone constantly while claiming to run a positive campaign?.
....It's pretty obvious, the hardest thing about serious campaigning is keeping a straight face..
....If the voters were half as dumb as the politicians think we are, this country would have disintegrated 200 years ago.

Since John McCane's polls indicate the election is still a toss-up, maybe we should review the important themes of each campaign.
....John McCane is ready to do whatever it takes.
....Barrack Obama is ready to change whatever it takes.
.....Good luck, America!
....And remember, it is okay to pray in a voting booth.
....Assuming you know how to pray without a microphone.

Some say the election of Barrack Obama will ruin the country. Others say the election of John McCane will ruin the country. But I say no president can ruin the country all by himself -- that's why he has Congress to help him.

I like to watch election night coverage on Fox. It's just like watching the Simpsons, only with goofier characters.

Sales of fancy underwear are really down. Victoria's Secret is it would have lost money this quarter if not for the Republicans shopping for Sarah Palin.