Thursday, October 26, 2006

Hello, Wall!

Big News

President Bush signed a bill Thursday authorizing the construction of a fence along 700 miles of the U.S.-Mexico border. Several Democrats, drinking early in California, swore they heard Ronald Reagan roll over and scream, "Mr. Gorbabush, TEAR DOWN THAT WALL!"

Meantime, Mexico's top daredevil Jose Knievel vowed to jump the new U.S.-Mexico wall on a motorcycle, and Madonna says she will adopt all illegal aliens injured trying to climb it.
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will cut short their honeymoon to jump up and down on the wall.
- And so as not to miss any excitement during construction, Geraldo Rivera will broadcast live from the wall for the next 35 years.

October 27th Now & Then

The Great Outhouse Race is this weekend in Mountain View, Arkansas. They race down the mountain in outhouses on wheels. Sounds like a terrible way to die.
- I think I saw that movie. Tom Cruise drove the winning outhouse.

Welsh poet Dylan Thomas was born on this day in 1914. He's the guy folk singer Bob Dylan named himself after. Dylan Thomas never sang a note in his life, which make him and Bob Dylan about even.

Theodore Roosevelt was born on this day in 1858. Teddy was the first president to ride in a car, submerge in a submarine, and fly in a plane; and the trips were anything but smooth. But Teddy was used to it -- he was a rough rider.

The Great Doughnut Debate was held on this date in 1947 to decide once and for all who invented the doughnut hole.
- Originally, the doughnut was simply a fried cake with a nut in the middle. Hence the name, dough nut.
- Chief High Eagle claimed a Cape Cod housewife had been cooking fried cakes when an Indian tried to kill her, and the arrow missed the woman and, instead, killed her fried cake, leaving quite a hole in the middle.
- But the judges ruled in favor of 15-year-old Hanson Gregory of Clam Cove, Maine, who in 1847 allegedly punched the centers out of his mother's fried cakes because "the centers were never cooked done anyway."
- The judges apparently felt the Indian story was just too full of holes.

Love & Learn

In Fashion - Updating your glasses is one of the best ways to refine your image and keep your wardrobe looking youthful.

DVD Select - Newest, best and worst available on DVD, including Nacho Libre, Rolling Family, Monster House, Kiss Me Again, Astaire and Rogers Ultimate Collector's Edition, Saturday Night Live: The Best of Saturday TV Funhouse, and more.

Aging Lifestyles - When it comes to aging, women still are not on a "level playing field."

Money and You - Find what your mutual fund fees really are.

Shallow Thoughts

I played high school football. I was the quarterback. I not only got sacked a lot, I fell off the stretcher twice.

They should have expected that blizzard in Denver when all the ducks lined up a the airport to catch a flight south.

More storm clouds are gathering in Washington. President Bush has been advised that this year he cannot go trick or treating.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Trick or Treating with Burdizzos

Big News

Maybe you heard. President Bush has decided he can no longer stay the course using the phrase stay the course. Whether he actually intends to stay the course or just shut up about it is still a little fuzzy.

October 26th Now & Then

The National Future Farmers of America convention is underway today in Indianapolis, Indiana. The future of farming looks really exciting — especially next year when they kick off the NASCAR Plowing Circuit.
- Never thought you'd see a parachute on a tractor, huh?
- You'll know the times they are a-changing, America, when tomorrow's FFA guys climb the fence carrying their laser Burdizzos and you see all those bulls crossing their legs.

Actress Jaclyn Smith is 59 today. Of all the old Charlie's Angels, she's my favorite. She's so beautiful, and so nice, and I think it's wonderful how she donates all her old clothes to K-mart.

Pat Sajak is 60 today. Before he blows out his candles, he'll close his eyes and make the same old wish -- that some day he'll be paid as much as Vanna.

Domenico Scarlatti was born on this date in 1685. He was the best harpsichordist in Naples. I mean, Domenico could get down.
- Shoot, Billy Ray Cyrus would have hired this guy.

Love & Learn

The Alert Consumer: Phishing - Internet attacks are more hidden, creative.

Autoword - The new Ford Sport Trac is a practical choice for users who tow the weekend toys, but also need a car for work and school.

A Greener View - Cutting an ugly plant down to size.

To Be Equal - Higher cost of education deterring many with lower incomes.

Shallow Thoughts

Remember, trick-or-treaters, everybody always gives out last year's leftover candy first.

Congress has two major problems. The House and the Senate.

Rain is just God's way of telling the world to hit the showers.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Wow, What a Blog!

Big News

Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling was sentenced Monday to 24 years in prison. Republicans are hoping he serves the full 24 years. Then he'd be 76 -- just perfect to run for the U.S. Senate.

The White House on Monday blamed the new Iraqi government for the mess in Iraqi. But the Iraqi's promised to stay the course and not to cut and run.
- So at least they're up on all the important clichés.

October 24th Now & Then

Today is Independence Day in Zambia, a south central African nation larger than Texas with 9-million people. Zambians are not only independent, but their leaders are elected and they now have a two-party system. So they’re just as free and frustrated as we are.

On this day in 1901 Anna Taylor became the first woman to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. When she was picked up across the U.S.-Canadian border, customs officials asked to see the receipt for the barrel.

On this day in 1940 the Fair Labor Standards Act established the 40-hour work week. It’s unclear how major-league pitchers making $10-million a year for working two hours every five days figure into that scenario.

A guy named A. Phillips patented the match on this day in 1836. Before that, to start a fire you had to use flint and gunpowder. Which made it very dangerous trying to light a cigarette in the wind.
- Your nose, eyebrows, and one or more lips could go right up in smoke.

Love & Learn

Today's Lifestyle: Tender Sights - When it comes to portrait photography of children, forget posed and postured. Creative and candid is what it's all about.

Tim Herd's Wildlife Viewfinder Guide - Wildlife observation in the right place at the right time.

Arts & Leisure - Author Daniel Handler sometimes shows up to sign copies of Lemony Snicket’s book, “The End.” The book is the last in “A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

Best Quick Tips for Public Speakers - The following tips can help you move quickly from the beginner stage of public speaking.

Shallow Thoughts

I think it may be a strange winter. Yesterday I saw a squirrel knitting a woolly-bear Afghan.
- You can't help but wonder how many worms it takes.

About the only clean, non-violent things on TV anymore are the soap commercials.

There are no athiests in foxholes. Darn few Republicans, either.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Neewallah ni Sasnak

Big news

President Bush and his top generals this weekend reviewed Iraq strategy, and the President hinted he might try staying a different course -- at least until election day.
- Maybe if we had elections more often we'd get strategy reviewed more often.

October 23rd Now & Then

The swallows leave Capistrano today. All of them leave the same day to get group rates.

Neewollah is underway in Independence, Kansas. Neewollah is Halloween spelled backwards. I'm not sure what it means, but it sounds like when all the kids go door-to-door and give the homeowners candy.

The Louisiana State Fair begins this week in Shreveport. Don't wear shorts if you plan to ride the alligator.
- And be sure to ask for extra Creole dip with your Fried Crawdad-On-A-Stick.

The "Father of Canning" was born on this day in 1752. Yes, can fans, Nicholas Appert is the guy who first had the idea of preserving food in air-tight containers. He died on June 3, 1841, and was buried in a giant Spam can.

Love & Learn

Gourmet Coffee Calories - You could have a hamburger, small fries and a chocolate chip cookie from McDonald's - or a single zucchini walnut muffin from Starbucks. It's the same thing, really.

TV Closeup - In the new TV police drama “The Nine,” Tim Daly plays Nick Cavanaugh, a police detective with a gambling addiction.

Fun Trick-or-Treat Alternatives - As a fun and safe alternative to the trick-or-treat traditions of Halloween, theme parties held at home are a popular idea.

Inside People: Singles Parties - Singles look to unique computer-coded 'keys' to open hearts.

Shallow Thoughts

So what do you think, do vampires observe daylight saving time?

I don't like fish. I don't like anything that eats worms.

Halloween's not what it used to be. For one thing, 100 pieces of penny candy costs $5.95.

My attorney says if I don't get into some kind of trouble soon, he may have to drop me as a client.