Follow My Dreams? Be Serious!

Big News

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called on the United Nations Thursday to confront Iran's "defiance" and demand that Tehran halt its nuclear program. An Iranian spokesman, who had trouble finding an interpreter, said he couldn't believe the U.S. would get so upset about condo leases.

A new nickel coin shows a smiling Thomas Jefferson looking straight at you. Have you seen it? Jefferson looks like he can still smell the buffalo on the old nickel.

Flabtastical Friday

Friday is Friday the 13th, a very unlucky day if a black cat crosses your path or gets flushed down your toilet.

Friday is Folsom Prison Blues Day, marking the Johnny Cash appearance at Folsom Prison on January 13, 1968, with June Carter, Carl Perkins, and the Statler Brothers. The cafeteria concert was recorded live, became a worldwide hit, and cemented Cash's image as a hero to the down-trodden. One of Cash's compositions while in the Air Force, "Folsom Prison Blues" was originally a hit on Sun Records in 1956.

Retired gunslinger Wyatt Earp died on January 13th in 1929. He hadn't slung a gun in years.
- In fact, Wyatt got mad and hung up his slinger when the liberals made it illegal to shoot innocent by-standers on Sunday.

On January 13th in 1979 the YMCA filed a libel suit against the Village People over their hit record "Y.M.C.A." The suit was later dropped, when it was determined that the Village People didn’t have anything the YMCA wanted.

To Learn to Sell

Following Up on Sales Presentations - The more time you put into getting to know your potential customers, the better your relationship will be. Here's how to follow up the initial sales call.

Today's Safety Tip

Remember, when attending a meeting of the National Rifle Association, never wear your target shirt.

Thoughts While Suffering from Acid Reflux

Do you take Pepcid-AC 30 minutes or an hour before eating possum fajitas?

The people who keep urging me to follow my dreams have no idea how weird my dreams are.

I swear, I'm so much fun I take me everywhere I go.

Brad and Angelina's Pre-Preg Agreement...

Biig News

President Bush said Wednesday congressional hearings to investigate his domestic eavesdropping program will be good for democracy as long as they don't give secrets away to the enemy. Unfortunately, he did not say whether the enemy is Democrats or The New York Times.

The World Health Organization on Wednesday tried to allay fears of a massive bird flu outbreak in Turkey, telling people not to panic. At the same time, officials urged people to avoid giving mouth-to-beak resuscitation to sick chickens.

Angelina Jolie is expecting a baby this summer with Brad Pitt. Everybody knew Angelina was pregnant. Her tummy and her lips were growing like crazy.
- Under the pre-preg agreement, Angelina will carry the child the first 4½ months, Brad the last 4½.
- If he'd agreed to that with Jennifer, it could have all been over with by now.

Thrilling Thursday

Thursday is Batman Day, marking Batman’s TV debut on this date in 1966. The campy series starred Adam West as Bruce Wayne and Batman and Burt Ward is Dick Grayson and Robin. Some 120 episodes are still in syndication.
- Today, of course, Batman is still fighting crime, and I think the Riddler and The Penguin are in prison and Cat Woman does a cable talk show.

Tbursday is Eat Crackers and Try To Whistle Day, just to see if it’s still as much fun as it was when you were a kid.

Shock jock Howard Stern is 52 on Thursday. Howard's beginning to grow up a little. In fact, there's a rumor that Eminem makes him sick.
- What's scary is, 20 years from now, kids will laugh at how goody-goody Howard Stern was.

"All in the Family" debuted on CBS-TV on January 12th in 1971. And later the conservative Archie Bunker became the liberal police chief of Sparta, Mississippi, on "In the Heat of the Night." It was almost as disillusioning as Barney Fife having an affair with "The Flying Nun."

Singer Ray Price is 80 on Thursday. When he was young, Ray had crazy arms, that reached to hold somebody new. Now at 80 his arms just kind of hang there -- like everything else.

Love & Learn

How to Read to Your Baby - Reading to babies can be challenging when there are so many things in the world for then to explore, but here are some tips that have worked for a mother of four.

Here's a hot item

The FDA says most canned dog food is at least 15 percent chicken. Big deal -- so am I.

Thoughts While Cleaning the Cat's Litterbox

Why is it that doctors only want urine samples when you don't need to go?
- Do they have empty-bladder detectors hidden somewhere in the waiting room?

Back home one of the most fun things to do was to watch the Republican.

Totally Amazing Yet Possibly Educational

Big News

President Bush urged Iraqis on Tuesday to put aside political, religious and sectarian differences to form a government of national unity. Political and religious differences okay, but he should have left the secretaries out of it.
- That's asking for trouble.

Iran defiantly resumed nuclear research on Tuesday, sparking an outcry from the United States and Europe. Outcrying is important -- it'll give us time to phony up some intelligence to take to the UN.

Wonderful Wednesday

International Thank You Days begin Wednesday, time to thank someone who did something nice for you.

On January 11th in 1984 Michael Jackson's "Thriller" became the best-selling album of all time and he was nominated for 12 Grammy Awards. Michael was so happy, he ran right out and slid down his giraffe.

The first insurance company was founded in Philadelphia on January 11th in 1759. They thought they had a safe risk with their first policy -- some guy named Franklin against being hit by lightening.

Psychologist William James was born on January 11th in 1842. He started a huge controversy by arguing that, when you meet a bear in the woods, you run first and get scared later. Others argued you'd get scared first, then run. Me -- I'd stay out of the woods.

On January 11th in 1964 Surgeon General Luther Terry labeled cigarette smoking the #1 cause of lung disease. Big Tobacco responded calmly and logically by calling the surgeon general a communist and declaring that cigarettes are as American as mom, apple pie, and wheezing.

Love & Learn

Love Without Measure - You really can't love somebody to death. People die from no love, but we don't have to worry about loving someone too much.

Today's totally amazing and possibly educational fact:

Cockroaches have been on earth approximately 364 times longer than man, yet as far as anybody knows, cockroaches have never held an election.

This is America! Just try to relax and enjoy the confusion.

The best thing about winter is you can neglect your yard and nobody notices.

Remember, ignorance is bliss -- and with this blog we've got bliss runnin' out our nose.

Waylon & Willie & the Boys...

Big News

Vice President Dick Cheney suffered shortness of breath and was hospitalized for four hours on Monday. Doctors say he's breathing better now, and his heart could start beating again any day now.

One thing I've learned: the news is a lot more exciting if you make up your own facts.

Terrific Tuesday

Singer Rod Stewart was born on January 10th in 1945. Before becoming a rock star, Stewart was a grave digger. He switched to singing because the groupies were a lot livelier.

Boxer George Foreman turns 57 on Tuesday. George may never stop fighting. Forty years from now, with some double-duty Depends, he'll probably be heavyweight champ at the Old Boxers Home.- George says he owes his longevity to never yielding to the temptation of eating his opponents ears.- They're just not good for you.

On January 10th in 1890 John D. Rockefeller incorporated a small company in Ohio called Standard Oil. People laughed because, back then, oil was considered to be very crude.- Today it's more refined.

On January 10th in 1948 Loretta Webb married Oliver Lynn. Loretta was only 13, but in Butcher Holler that was an old maid.- Loretta was registered at the feed store.- At the bridal shower, she got dozens of pretty feed sacks.

Loretta Lynn stayed barefoot and pregnant and miserable until she became a big singing star and could afford Crisco. And from then on, life was finger lickin' good.

Music History

Texas Country Outlaws - In the early 1970s several country music recording artists moved from Nashville to Texas and created the Outlaw movement in country music. The movement is still growing.

Thoughts While Feeding the Birds

I have dabbled both in sense and in nonsense, and nonsense makes more sense.

When the cat's away, the mice send out for pizza and watch football on TV.

The best way to learn to yodel is to go outside in freezing weather with a hole in your pants.

I seem to have misplaced by CD with the National Rifle Association Tabernacle Choir singing, "I Want A Gun Just Like the Gun That Riddled Dear Old Dad."

Facing the Future Butt First

Big News

Muscle cars are making a comeback at the Detroit auto show. They're called muscle cars because, since nobody can afford gas, you really build muscles pushing them.

Magnificent Monday

Monday is Word Nerd Day, celebrating all those who enjoy playing with words (sponsored by Maria Schneider of Writer's Digest)

The "Buck Rogers" comic strip first appeared on January 9th in 1929. Buck fell asleep in 1929 and woke up 500 years later. It was terrible. He owed the Book of the Month Club $17 million -- plus postage and handling.

Muggsy Bogues is 40 on Monday. At 5-3, Muggsy was the NBA's shortest player. His goal was to some day bungee jump off Shaquille O'Neal.

Love & Learn

Growing Pretty Flowers from Bulbs - Bulbs will usually do well if their natural habitat is approximated in the garden.

This just in

Medical researchers discovered early today what an embryo does when it's hungry. It calls womb service.

Thoughts While Sedated

I can't read music, but I wouldn't read some of it even if I could.

Conservatives are the ones who insist on facing the future butt first.

I tried being normal once, but I wasn't very good at it.

Holes in today's blog were drilled by Hole House, specializing in holes for the whole house. If you or anyone in your whole household needs a house hole, call Hole House.