Buy Bonds, Hunt Goats

Big News

Iraq's neighbors, including Iran and Syria, have agreed to join U.S. and British representatives at a conference on Iraq security. The White House reportedly will ask everybody to stay the course and buy U.S. Savings bonds.
- As a gesture of goodwill, Vice-President Cheney will invite everyone to join him for a goat hunt.

The FDA on Wednesday approved the first drug for car-sick dogs. By Wednesday night teenagers were experimenting with it.
- Eight out of ten still threw up.
- On Thursday the FDA will be asked to warn dogs not to take the car sick drug while drinking beer.

Love & Learn

Today's Lifestyle - Hydroponics: Cool gardening that won't get your hands dirty.

A Greener View - Pruning during dormant season won't hurt trees ... New plants require some babying ... Propagating Plants ...

Travel: Food Museums - Travelers can devour museums as well as cuisine.

Arts and Leisure: Online TV - Your favorite TV shows are just a mouse click away.

Shallow Thoughts

My son's room is so dirty once a week the rats come in and vacuum.

In these days of sky-rocketing medical costs, many hospitals have established out-patient services. If he doesn't have insurnace, they throw the patient out.

I started out to be a singer. But one day when I was practicing, the cat tied a rock around his neck and jumped into the aquarium....
- So I decided to become a blogger.

Cheney Okay, Market Plunges

Big News

A suicide bomber attacked the entrance to the main U.S. military base in Afghanistan on Tuesday during a visit by Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney, who was not hurt, called it good news, and said "it is a sign we are winning."
- The Vice-President's brain is stuck.

Some 39.9 million Americans watched the Oscar telecast. Which means 260 million didn't. So the best Hollywood can offer drew only 13.3 percent, or less than half of President Bush's popularity rating.
- In comedy we call this "deflating the pompous.
- It's our job.
- It's not that hard.

Did anyone notice? The Dixie Chicks brought home the Grammys. Al Gore was big at the Oscars. And rumor is that John Kerry this week will be named to the Ketchup Spouses Hall of Fame.
- Assuming the Swift Boat Imbeciles don't plaster the Internet with photos of Kerry's mouth covered in mustard.

Film maker James Cameron claims in a new documentary he's found the graves of Jesus, Mary Magdalene, and their son, Herb.
- In his next film Cameron will prove O.J.'s first wife actually gave birth to Anna Nicole Smith, who's grandfather, Lee Harvey Osmond, had 14 wives, one of which killed Anna Nicole Brown.

More Big News every day at Laughs Today, the Internet's #1 topical comedy site.

Love & Learn

Catch Rays with Caution - A word of advice to young sun worshippers.

Changing the World - The purse contained 57 cents and a note scribbled in childish handwriting. The note read, "This is to help build the little church bigger so more children can go to Sunday school."

Travel: Two Koreas - A lasting unease between North and South Koreas.

Pitfalls of Payday Loans - Payday loans are marketed as a way to get fast cash to hold the borrower over until their next paycheck. But expect to repay much more than you get.

To Be Equal - Financial literacy an important piece of economic empowerment puzzle.

Analysis: Campaign - Will Romney's religion define his candidacy?

In Fashion - Blogs and blahs from the front lines of fashion.

Shallow Thoughts

I won six Grammy awards when I was a kid. My grandmother gave them to me for not embarrassing her in church

Don't you feel sorry for pro-basketball players? I mean, think how terrifying it must be knowing a small child could smother to death in your sock.

The couple next door don't have any kids, so I send ours over once a month to mess up their house.