A Pox on Your Po-Po
Big News
This just in. Democrats said today they will subpoena the five polyps discovered during President Bush's colonoscopy. "We just want to make sure," says Senator Harry Reid, "there were no polyps of mass destruction."
First it was Iraqi soldiers and foreign fighters, then sectarian terrorists and militiamen, then insurgents, and now it's al-Qaida in Iraq. Does anybody know who we are fighting over there? Well, would you please tell the President!?
Wall Street suffered one of its worst losses of 2007 Thursday. The Dow Jones industrials closed down more than 310 points after earlier skidding nearly 450. But, honestly, how can they say it's one of the worst losses when 2007 is barely half over?
....I always try to look on the bright side. Like if a few millionaires lose enough money, maybe they'll need to hire me to look on the bright side for them.
....It's all in my new ebook, "The Bright Side of Wealth Reclaiming for Losers."
....In English, Spanish, French, and Nigerian.
....Hurry! Only $67 while they last.
The White House still is concerned about the dangers Iran's nuclear program poses to the Middle East. Especially since Iran's missiles are small, easily hidden, and can be successfully launched from a water buffalo.
At least twice, astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so drunk they posed a flight-safety risk. Be serious! Who are they going to hit?
....Heck, in outer space it's even safe to talk on your cellphone.
....I wouldn't want 'em docking with the space station while drunk and talking on their cellphones...
Michael Vick pleaded not guilty Thursday to federal dogfighting charges, but he better get some good lawyers. Reportedly, the Richmond D.A. is planning a resurrection of 17 dead dogs to testify.
....Bringing a dead dog back to life isn't that hard. You just rub 'em all over with something really smelly, and then hook up an electric can opener to a 300-watt amplifier.
....Seriously, it's enough to wake the dead.
We're learning more about possible Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson, the former U.S. senator who plays the DA on "Law & Order." Apparently, he decided his first marriage was illegal because nobody read him his rights first.
Love & Learn
Pop Talk: Rocco Deluca's Triple Play - Rocco DeLuca has been compared to Jeff Buckley and Radiohead, but his earthy blues roots give his music a distinctive sheen.
Ear Worm: Quickie Music Reviews - New stuff, like The Editors' "An End Has a Start," Garbage's "Absolute Garbage," Nick Lowe's "At My Age," Chris Cornell's "Carry On," and Interpol's "Our Love to Admire."
MTV News - The hottest entertainment news from yet another top news agency.
Easy to Fix Meal Means More Time for Summer Fun - On a warm summer evening, heat up the grill and make an entire dinner outside with no fuss. Don't have a grill? Broil this dinner in the kitchen with very little effort.
Shallow Thoughts
We could sure use a nice cold snap about now, but I suppose that's about as likely as a sumo wrestler finding the perfect Speedo.
My daughter is taking French in high school. If I hear "Voila!" one more time, I'm going to take her to the Mexican border and sell her.
I turned on the lawn sprinkler and saw the cutest thing -- a squirrel shampooing his tail. He probably had a date.
It was a little scary. We camped so deep in the woods, the mosquitoes had buck teeth.
....You could hear the chiggers croaking.
....The fire ants had tattoos and ponytails.
Warning! Failure to join us again may cause shortness of breath, lesions, incontinence, and a pox on your po-po.
This just in. Democrats said today they will subpoena the five polyps discovered during President Bush's colonoscopy. "We just want to make sure," says Senator Harry Reid, "there were no polyps of mass destruction."
First it was Iraqi soldiers and foreign fighters, then sectarian terrorists and militiamen, then insurgents, and now it's al-Qaida in Iraq. Does anybody know who we are fighting over there? Well, would you please tell the President!?
Wall Street suffered one of its worst losses of 2007 Thursday. The Dow Jones industrials closed down more than 310 points after earlier skidding nearly 450. But, honestly, how can they say it's one of the worst losses when 2007 is barely half over?
....I always try to look on the bright side. Like if a few millionaires lose enough money, maybe they'll need to hire me to look on the bright side for them.
....It's all in my new ebook, "The Bright Side of Wealth Reclaiming for Losers."
....In English, Spanish, French, and Nigerian.
....Hurry! Only $67 while they last.
The White House still is concerned about the dangers Iran's nuclear program poses to the Middle East. Especially since Iran's missiles are small, easily hidden, and can be successfully launched from a water buffalo.
At least twice, astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so drunk they posed a flight-safety risk. Be serious! Who are they going to hit?
....Heck, in outer space it's even safe to talk on your cellphone.
....I wouldn't want 'em docking with the space station while drunk and talking on their cellphones...
Michael Vick pleaded not guilty Thursday to federal dogfighting charges, but he better get some good lawyers. Reportedly, the Richmond D.A. is planning a resurrection of 17 dead dogs to testify.
....Bringing a dead dog back to life isn't that hard. You just rub 'em all over with something really smelly, and then hook up an electric can opener to a 300-watt amplifier.
....Seriously, it's enough to wake the dead.
We're learning more about possible Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson, the former U.S. senator who plays the DA on "Law & Order." Apparently, he decided his first marriage was illegal because nobody read him his rights first.
Love & Learn
Pop Talk: Rocco Deluca's Triple Play - Rocco DeLuca has been compared to Jeff Buckley and Radiohead, but his earthy blues roots give his music a distinctive sheen.
Ear Worm: Quickie Music Reviews - New stuff, like The Editors' "An End Has a Start," Garbage's "Absolute Garbage," Nick Lowe's "At My Age," Chris Cornell's "Carry On," and Interpol's "Our Love to Admire."
MTV News - The hottest entertainment news from yet another top news agency.
Easy to Fix Meal Means More Time for Summer Fun - On a warm summer evening, heat up the grill and make an entire dinner outside with no fuss. Don't have a grill? Broil this dinner in the kitchen with very little effort.
Shallow Thoughts
We could sure use a nice cold snap about now, but I suppose that's about as likely as a sumo wrestler finding the perfect Speedo.
My daughter is taking French in high school. If I hear "Voila!" one more time, I'm going to take her to the Mexican border and sell her.
I turned on the lawn sprinkler and saw the cutest thing -- a squirrel shampooing his tail. He probably had a date.
It was a little scary. We camped so deep in the woods, the mosquitoes had buck teeth.
....You could hear the chiggers croaking.
....The fire ants had tattoos and ponytails.
Warning! Failure to join us again may cause shortness of breath, lesions, incontinence, and a pox on your po-po.
posted by Joe Hickman at 6:29 PM
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