Moose Coverage & Grubworm Privacy
Big News
More than four years into a conflict initially thought to be a cakewalk, the U.S. commander in Iraq and the U.S. Ambassador to Baghdad will opine to Congress this week we can't walk until Halliburton runs out of cake.
- Or some such goofy argument.
A new report says the massive deployment of U.S. forces and sprawl of U.S.-run facilities in and around Baghdad has given Iraqis the impression that Americans are an occupying, permanent force. Probably because Americans are an occupying, permanent force.
- Isn't that what "stay the course" means?
Scientists have forecast the decline of the polar bear. I supposed this is bad news, but I can't say, having never known a polar bear personally.
- I know I do prefer my polar bears somewhere else
The top-rated TV show last week as "Two and a Half Men," and reportedly that's about how many people watched it.
- Not many people watch "Two and A Half Men" anymore. After about two and a half episodes, you decide they need a new joke.
- Besides, in the pilot episode, everybody figures out the half-man is Charlie Sheen.
- This is the only comedy on TV where the laugh track groans.
Anna Ovard came home in Pocatello, Idaho, to find a moose had kicked in her front door and was making itself at home in her living room.
- Probably wanted to watch "The View."
- Wouldn't you know? When she renewed her homeowners policy, she'd dropped moose coverage.
Love & Learn
Seven Habits for Living Effectively with Diabetes - Self-help book guru Stephen R. Covey has written a book to help diabetics better manage their conditions. Get it free!
Congress, Obese Urban Children, and the 2007 Farm Bill - Washington, D.C., leads the nation in childhood obesity. This comes as no surprise to those who study D.C.'s 8th Ward, where more than one-third of residents live in poverty and more than one-third of its children are obese.
The U.S. Must Be a Safe Harbor for Those Fleeing Violence - The time has come for Congress to finally develop comprehensive immigration reform. A more compassionate, realistic approach is needed in dealing with those who have become solid contributors to this country after fleeing war and repression.
Life Is for Living - Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back. Have you heard the story of the exquisite violin?
Falling Behind - Ordinary families are working harder and producing more but getting a shrinking share of America's prosperity. Looking at the numbers, you'd think the nation had gone through a terrible recession. Actually, the economy has seen fairly healthy growth for six years. Gross domestic product is up 14 percent since 2000.
Sports Roundup: Greatest Racer of All Time - Richard Petty is the King. But is he the greatest stock car racer of all time? That question is as old as NASCAR itself. Recently, however, it has again become a subject of discussion.
Farewell to Pavarotti - Editorials by the Philadelphia Inquirer, South Florida Sun-Sentinel, New York Daily News, and Orlando Sentinel pay tribute to the world's great operatic tenor.
Shallow Thoughts
Why do the leaves fall? That's easy. So the grubworms can have some privacy while they're reproducing.
I can't wait for this year's fair. I just know my crabgrass will win a blue ribbon.
It's a mixed marriage. She's normal.
I believe your skirt is too short when you bend over and everybody can see your bra.
I belong to a camper's exchange club. When I spend a weekend in the woods, a family of raccoons sleeps in my apartment.
Today's horoscope. Pisces: Your stars are in conflict. For details, see "Entertainment Tonight."
More than four years into a conflict initially thought to be a cakewalk, the U.S. commander in Iraq and the U.S. Ambassador to Baghdad will opine to Congress this week we can't walk until Halliburton runs out of cake.
- Or some such goofy argument.
A new report says the massive deployment of U.S. forces and sprawl of U.S.-run facilities in and around Baghdad has given Iraqis the impression that Americans are an occupying, permanent force. Probably because Americans are an occupying, permanent force.
- Isn't that what "stay the course" means?
Scientists have forecast the decline of the polar bear. I supposed this is bad news, but I can't say, having never known a polar bear personally.
- I know I do prefer my polar bears somewhere else
The top-rated TV show last week as "Two and a Half Men," and reportedly that's about how many people watched it.
- Not many people watch "Two and A Half Men" anymore. After about two and a half episodes, you decide they need a new joke.
- Besides, in the pilot episode, everybody figures out the half-man is Charlie Sheen.
- This is the only comedy on TV where the laugh track groans.
Anna Ovard came home in Pocatello, Idaho, to find a moose had kicked in her front door and was making itself at home in her living room.
- Probably wanted to watch "The View."
- Wouldn't you know? When she renewed her homeowners policy, she'd dropped moose coverage.
Love & Learn
Seven Habits for Living Effectively with Diabetes - Self-help book guru Stephen R. Covey has written a book to help diabetics better manage their conditions. Get it free!
Congress, Obese Urban Children, and the 2007 Farm Bill - Washington, D.C., leads the nation in childhood obesity. This comes as no surprise to those who study D.C.'s 8th Ward, where more than one-third of residents live in poverty and more than one-third of its children are obese.
The U.S. Must Be a Safe Harbor for Those Fleeing Violence - The time has come for Congress to finally develop comprehensive immigration reform. A more compassionate, realistic approach is needed in dealing with those who have become solid contributors to this country after fleeing war and repression.
Life Is for Living - Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back. Have you heard the story of the exquisite violin?
Falling Behind - Ordinary families are working harder and producing more but getting a shrinking share of America's prosperity. Looking at the numbers, you'd think the nation had gone through a terrible recession. Actually, the economy has seen fairly healthy growth for six years. Gross domestic product is up 14 percent since 2000.
Sports Roundup: Greatest Racer of All Time - Richard Petty is the King. But is he the greatest stock car racer of all time? That question is as old as NASCAR itself. Recently, however, it has again become a subject of discussion.
Farewell to Pavarotti - Editorials by the Philadelphia Inquirer, South Florida Sun-Sentinel, New York Daily News, and Orlando Sentinel pay tribute to the world's great operatic tenor.
Shallow Thoughts
Why do the leaves fall? That's easy. So the grubworms can have some privacy while they're reproducing.
I can't wait for this year's fair. I just know my crabgrass will win a blue ribbon.
It's a mixed marriage. She's normal.
I believe your skirt is too short when you bend over and everybody can see your bra.
I belong to a camper's exchange club. When I spend a weekend in the woods, a family of raccoons sleeps in my apartment.
Today's horoscope. Pisces: Your stars are in conflict. For details, see "Entertainment Tonight."
posted by Joe Hickman at 3:19 PM
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