Rush Limbaugh to Train Iraqi Police

Big News

Members of the Iraq Study Group say the U.S. has botched the job of training Iraqi police by assigning the wrong people to the task. Apparently, Erik Estrada and LaToya Jackson just weren't qualified.

The Super Bowl is now a national security event, to be guarded by three thousand civilian guards, Miami and state police, undercover cops and the military. Reportedly, Horatio Caine is livid he has to work on Sunday.
- The biggest challenge for security police comes at the end of the game when 75,000 drunk fans try to get out of the parking lot.
- By the way, in Florida it's a class-C misdemeanor to throw up a state trooper.

A West Coast mystery lover is paying $2.5 million to propose to his girlfriend in a Super Bowl commercial. My bet is she says, "No!" I mean, the guy's got to be broke.
- The last thing a woman wants is a guy who throws his money away -- on Super Bowl commercials!
- The guy's headed for rehab.

More Big News every day at Laughs Today, the Internet's #1 topical comedy site.

Love & Learn

Money and You - Fee or no-fee, financial advice is not free.

LifeWire - Happy news from the American Cancer Society: Statistics show that deaths from cancer have declined for two straight years.

Arts and Leisure - Girls have gone metal: Female bands are shaking up a genre once ruled by males.

Tim Herd's Wildlife Viewfinder Guide - Wildlife observation in the right place at the right time.

A Greener View - Roses, the ultimate flower: AARS winners .. Lily varieties save the day .. Moth larvae can destroy squash

Shallow Thoughts

February is Sleep Safety Month, so remember: do not smoke in bed, do not sleep with fireworks or oily rags, and make sure your fireman always has a fresh battery.

My stock broker tried to jump out a window -- but the warden stopped him.

My ears are ringing so much I must have caught a cold from the Avon Lady.

This is the time of year for the Grammy Awards and the Mardi Gras. This annual event features weird people in goofy clothes—and we see the same thing at the Mardi Gras.

New Exit Strategy

Big News

President Bush warned Iran on Monday to butt out of Iraq. The President is talking tough, even though there's no way Congress would approve an attack against Iran. But he probably doesn't need approval to bring the troops home from Iraq -- through Iran.
- Hey, it's an exit strategy.

The city of Miami is planning an official celebration at the Orange Bowl whenever Cuban president Fidel Castro dies. City officials are hoping Castro holds out until after the Super Bowl. Two stadiums full of beer drinkers flushing at once might blow the sewer system.

More Big News every day at Laughs Today, the Internet's #1 topical comedy site.

Love & Learn

Today's Health Scene: Cardio Exercise - Physicians tell what you must do to take charge of your health.

Opinion, Analysis, and New Year's Resolutions - No promises made, none broken.

Editorial: FISA - With the Federal Intelligence Surveillance Act, the Bush administration followed the now familiar script - it ignored the law until it looked as if it would be forced to comply.

Keeping Hope Alive - Apples, he believed, gave the promise of harvest and hope that the wilderness would become home.

To Be Equal - Civil rights movement must continue to evolve.

'Tween 12 and 20 - True love is indeed possible at 14 .. Religious beliefs take top billing .. Sexual arrangement should cease .. Bring boyfriend home more often .. It's very easy to become addicted to crack .. If you care, stop smoking now .. A good education is worth the effort...

Video Game Reviews - With "Eragon," there be dragons! But how boring can you get? But with ''Metal Slug: Anthology," having so many games on one disc is enough to keep any gamer busy.

Now today's exciting health fact:

Did you know there's more vitamin-C in a raw potato than there is in an orange? Think about that tomorrow morning when you're drinking your potato juice

Shallow Thoughts

Ice skating backwards is easy. The hard part is doing it on purpose.

My marriage is at the point where I put on a Johnny Mathis CD and pour her some wine -- just so she'll have something to do while I watch the game.

Be it ever so humble, there's nothing like a home equity loan equity loan right after the holidays