Talkers Vulnerable

Republican party leaders said Tuesday radio talk show hosts should not be allowed to hear President Obama's Wednesday speech to Congress because Obama might use it as a propaganda tool for his social views and might indoctrinate America's radio talkers to his socialist agenda. "It's just too dangerous," said one Republican governor, "If we lose the talk show hosts, we won't have anybody left!"

Republcans have been getting extremely nervous since their primary strength is talk radio hosts. In fact, that's why they came out so storngly against Obama's speech to school chldren. If America's school children get serious about edcucation and all go to college, there won't be anybody to do the next generation’s radio talk shows.

Sure, Republicans atill have Fox News, but Fox can’t pull in the supporters Republicans need. "I wouldn’t trade Rush Limbaugh for everybody on Fox," said another Republican governor . "Rush just barely finished high school. He's got what it takes to sucker in real Republicans," he added as he headed for the Appalacian Trail.

Public Housing and Fidelity

Judge Sonia Sotomayor. President Obama's first nominee to the Supreme Court, introduced herself to the nation Monday by speaking about how her journey from public housing in the Bronx to the federal bench has shaped her philosophy and made her a jurist whose philosophy is guided by “fidelity to the law.” Republicans can't relate. They have no experience with either public housing or fidelity.
-- One senator said he didn't know Fidelity ever invested in public housing.

An Alabama family doctor who twice resurrected her clinic in a rural Alabama fishing village after it was devastated by hurricanes will be nominated to be the new U.S. surgeon general. Unfortunately, Dr. Regina Benjamin has no experience at dealing with one of Washington's toughest diseases -- LATD -- lobbyist arm-twisting disorder.

Happy 233!

The great thing about the July 4th weekend is that nothing bad can happen -- Congress is on vacation.

The long Fourth of July weekend serves a great purpose. It gets noise, mayhem, and violence off MTV and back on the streets where it belongs.

Our country has changed a lot since 1776. The British taxed paupers like they were millionaires, and today our government taxes millionaires like they were paupers.

It's hard to believe we're 233 years old. I don't feel a day over 210.

Devastating Consequences, hic!

The nation's largest health insurer trade group says any government plan would force "devastating consequences" on the current insurance arrangements. Unless, of course, insurance industry lobbyists ran the government plan, too.
-- C'mon, guy's, you're not thinking inside the box.
-- You're making people think the American insurance industry can't compete.
-- You're giving up even without a bailout.

Iran's regime blames rioting on interference from the U.S. and radio talk show hosts are planning tea parties because Obama isn't interfering in Iran. Sounds like somebody's confused. Or maybe everybody's confused. I know I am.
-- Not sure a tea party will help.
-- Depending on with what they spike the tea.

You have to admire the President's hypocrisy on smoking. Even if he can't stop, he tries to help others. It's a great example for those who can't give up their love for money.
-- Maybe the new healthcare program can address both those addictions.

Super-Slumdog Cool

President Obama has a plan to slash the deficit, despite stimulus spending, primarily Iraq troop withdrawals and higher taxes on the wealthy. That should shut Republicans up.
-- But now we'll have to listen to 'em whining for eight years.
-- It's almost like Clinton's back.

Hey, no matter who won the Oscars or how few Republicans watched, any telecast that brought kids from the slums of Mumbai, India, to a free party in Hollywood should win an Emmy, or a Donkey or a month of free happy meals or something super-slumdogcool.
-- Just watching made millions all over the world forget for a few minutes they don't have a place to live.
-- But please, while the kids are here, take them to Disneyland. Pretty sure they'll enjoy Mickey and Goofy more than all those low-cut gowns.

Playboy magazine posted dramatic fourth quarter losses. Big question is, how does Playboy cut back? Wardrobe costs?
-- I don't think so.

Awful News! Just Awful.

The Stock Market is bracing for awful news. Investors this week are expecting company report cards that may show the worst quarter for corporate profits in a decade. Okay, so?
-- So who needs a job anyway?
-- I mean, most of us always dreamed of an extended vacation.
-- With unemployment.
-- This could be the best thing that ever happened?
-- I think I'll ask my financial advisor -- Alfred E. Newman.

Republicans are resisting President Obama's stimulus plan unless the wealthy get permanent tax cuts. I say go ahead and let 'em have their tax cuts, 'cause by the time they get 'em they won't be wealthy anymore anyway.
-- Then they'll have to pay the middle-class tax increases like everybody else.

President Obama signed an executive order on Thursday to close the military detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. Rumors say Dick Cheney will buy it and turn it into a fancy hotel and gun range.
-- A place where congressmen and senators can go to relax and shoot off their frustrations, at lobbyists expense, of course.

Microsoft says it is cutting 5,000 jobs over the next 18 months --more than 5 percent of its work force. Just in time for the government's program to retrain the unemployed for computer jobs.

Adopt a Gitmo Inmate Today!

House Democrats on Thursday released an expansive economic recovery plan that calls for $550 billion in spending and aid to states and $275 billion in tax cuts. Now, of course, House members have to dig into the plan and see if their buddies are getting their unfair share.

Attorney General-designate Eric Holder said Thursday that the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay may take longer to close than hoped. With only a 59-vote Democrat margin in the U.S. Senate, a Republican filibuster will kill the idea of releasing the 250 inmates into red states.

Senator Joe Biden bid farewell on Thursday to his senate colleagues. He apparently forgot, as Vice-President, next week he'll be running the Senate. Or maybe he doesn't expect Cheney to leave.
-- He has had access to the security briefings lately.

Bitter cold weather was sweeping across the nation Thursday, putting the Midwest in a deep freeze. In Fargo, North Dakota it felt like 48 below because it was 48 below.
-- Lower than 20 below, you can't feel anything anyway.
-- Assuming you still have fingers.

CNN meteorologist Rob Marciano said unprotected fingers in Fargo could suffer frostbite in 60 seconds. So in Fargo, everybody remembers to wear their goose gloves and their microwave longjohns..