Platonic Companions by Frigidear!
Big News
Queen Elizabeth on Wednesday knighted singer Tom Jones. As usual, when Tom bowed, his pants ripped.
- Queen Liz giggled so hard her hat fell off.
- Tom picked it up ... another rrrrrip!
Thrilling Thursday
Thursday is Doctors' Day. It's a day for everybody to honor doctors, since nobody can afford to pay them.
Here's how to honor your doctor:
* Decorate your appendix scar.
* Volunteer for unnecessary surgery.
* At the golf course, donate a new hole in his or her name.
* Break one of your most expensive bones.
On March 30 in 1842, anesthetic was used during surgery for the first time. Before that they used whiskey. The doctor kept drinking until the patient's screaming didn't bother him anymore.
On March 30 in 1855, some 6,000 people voted in a Kansas election, even though the state had only 2,000 registered voters. This country has such a glorious history it just brings a lump to your throat. Or to your head, depending on to whom you express your opinions.
Love & Learn
Sweet Thang! - Things sure are sweeter now that sugar substitutes have gotten better. And it's a good thing for the average American who slurps up 152 pounds of sugar a year.
Breast Cancer Basics - Here are some facts about breast cancer every woman should know.
New Sports Drink; Chocolate Milk? - When a workout wipes you out, what do you do for a lift? Guzzle Gatorade? Drain the nearest water bottle? Or soothe your parched palate with a shot of chocolate milk?
Now, today's music discussion question:
When she hits 50, do you think Madonna's lips will sag?
- Honest. They say even now it takes her three days to pucker up.
Ignorance is when you don't know anything -- and someone else finds out.
Platonic companions for today's blog were supplied by Frigidear. For a cool companion who's seriously sick of sex, call Frigidear today.
Queen Elizabeth on Wednesday knighted singer Tom Jones. As usual, when Tom bowed, his pants ripped.
- Queen Liz giggled so hard her hat fell off.
- Tom picked it up ... another rrrrrip!
Thrilling Thursday
Thursday is Doctors' Day. It's a day for everybody to honor doctors, since nobody can afford to pay them.
Here's how to honor your doctor:
* Decorate your appendix scar.
* Volunteer for unnecessary surgery.
* At the golf course, donate a new hole in his or her name.
* Break one of your most expensive bones.
On March 30 in 1842, anesthetic was used during surgery for the first time. Before that they used whiskey. The doctor kept drinking until the patient's screaming didn't bother him anymore.
On March 30 in 1855, some 6,000 people voted in a Kansas election, even though the state had only 2,000 registered voters. This country has such a glorious history it just brings a lump to your throat. Or to your head, depending on to whom you express your opinions.
Love & Learn
Sweet Thang! - Things sure are sweeter now that sugar substitutes have gotten better. And it's a good thing for the average American who slurps up 152 pounds of sugar a year.
Breast Cancer Basics - Here are some facts about breast cancer every woman should know.
New Sports Drink; Chocolate Milk? - When a workout wipes you out, what do you do for a lift? Guzzle Gatorade? Drain the nearest water bottle? Or soothe your parched palate with a shot of chocolate milk?
Now, today's music discussion question:
When she hits 50, do you think Madonna's lips will sag?
- Honest. They say even now it takes her three days to pucker up.
Ignorance is when you don't know anything -- and someone else finds out.
Platonic companions for today's blog were supplied by Frigidear. For a cool companion who's seriously sick of sex, call Frigidear today.
posted by Joe Hickman at 1:52 PM
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