Stop & Smell a Republican

Big News

Paul Tagliabue is retiring as NFL commissioner after more than 16 years on the job. Rumor says President Bush wants to appoint Harriet Miers.

Donald Trump announced Monday on national television his wife Melania had given birth minutes earlier to a boy. He was so excited, you'd thought she had the kid on Oprah's couch.
- At last report, Trump hadn't fired either one of them ... yet.
- Hopefully, the kid has his mother's hair.
- Ears. Nose. Personality...

This just in. An angry mob of germs that cause bad breath today stormed the Listerine factory in Piedmont, Nebraska. Police are lobbing in boxes of Clorets, but fear the action might make the factory taste mediciney.
- More on this story as we make it up.

Terrific Tuesday

Actress Rosie O’Donnell is 44 on Tuesday. Rosie collects McDonald’s Happy Meal figurines. And in the process developed a McDonald’s Happy Meal figure.
- Everybody likes Rosie. She’s cute enough to be the Pillsbury Doughboy’s sister.

This is Poison Prevention Week, a good time to throw out the last of that leftover Thanksgiving turkey.

Remember, to prevent poisoning, when petting your rattlesnake, never tickle his rattles.

On March 21 in 1962 a bear became the first creature to be ejected from a jet plane at supersonic speeds. The bear survived, but they could never get his hair to lay down again.

Love & Learn

New Golf Leagues Long for Team Play - If Bob Aube's dream is realized, the National Golf League would emulate the NFL and NBA.

Thoughts at McDonalds

If fast food isn't good for you, how come lions are so healthy?

Hey, it's spring, time to plant those radishes ... those onions ... those golf tees.....