Scooter, Laura & the All-Star Spit Pool
Big News
The White House said Monday President Bush will not withdraw forces from Iraq now despite an erosion of support among Republicans for his war policy. Hey, the President is a Republican -- he's not about to start writing his own personal checks to Halliburton.
- "We're still stayin' the course -- we'll just stay the course at home for a while."
- "The mainest thing is: our Mission is Accomplished. We kept the tax cuts."
By the way, rumor has it, Scooter Libby will enjoy loyalty perks for many years to come. Little things. Like Dick Cheney's next grandchild will be named Scooter.
- Not Scooter Cheney. Probably Scooter Halliburton.
You know, Scooter Libby could still talk. I figure there's only one way to shut him up for good -- make him a general.
Since the President refuses to let anyone in his administration testify before Congress about the firings of federal prosecutors, Democrats say they'll subpoena Laura Bush. Laura might want to testify.
- Hey, she might have heard something!
- Laura's not the type of lady to hide behind executive-spouse privilege.
Besides, George is going to be out of work in a couple of years -- he'll be 63 and another three years from Social Security.
- Laura might feel like it's time to make a name for herself.
- Maybe run for the senate from New York or something.
- You can't spend the rest of your life hanging around the library selling T-shirts.
The baseball All Star game is Tuesday in San Francisco. It's at AT&T Park. Everybody at the game will get a collect phone call from Cuba.
- "Ola! Ees Rafael there?"
- "Tell heem Seeester Maria, reader/advisor, has read the goat's breath, and shoes at the ballpark today, on the field and in the stands, will be splattered with 14,743 gallons of tobacco juice."
- "On the ballpark spit pool, go ahead, bet the farm!"
NBA finals MVP Tony Parker and "Desperate Housewives” co-star Eva Longoria were married in France this weekend. It was a marriage made in tabloid heaven.
- They say Eva was such a beautiful bride, half-way through the ceremony Tony went out for a beer and nobody noticed.
Love & Learn
Wentz Lyrics Push Fall Out Boy to Rare Heights - Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz may write emotional lyrics about all sorts of heartbreaky things, but you will not see a tear anywhere near his black-linered eyes.
Answers - Up and down the length and breadth and width of Greater Ponca City people are stirring. They're beginning to ask questions. And, on THIS program, when listeners look deep into their souls and come up with a question, they WILL get an answer!
Hit Your Peak with Super Foods - Edible superstar foods will give your body many of the nutrients it requires to operate at peak performance. Hint: It's not pizza.
Tween 12 and 20: Cool Advice for Teens and Their Parents - Student shouldn't be punished for grades .. Give your father a call .. Teen drivers are not invincible .. American teens use more drugs than Europeans .. Playing favorites hurts .. Drinker is breaking the law ..
Shallow Thoughts
This portion of today's blog is brought to your by Bloat Light, the exciting new beer that makes your belly look like a weather balloon. Hey, it may be light, but it's still beer.
At a nude beach, with my luck, I'd sit on a jellyfish.
Different people handle gray hair in different ways. For example, my wife handles it with tweezers.
Wiffle bullets for today's blog were supplied by the National Humane Rifle Association, the exciting new group for hunters who love guns but prefer to shoot only stuffed animals
The White House said Monday President Bush will not withdraw forces from Iraq now despite an erosion of support among Republicans for his war policy. Hey, the President is a Republican -- he's not about to start writing his own personal checks to Halliburton.
- "We're still stayin' the course -- we'll just stay the course at home for a while."
- "The mainest thing is: our Mission is Accomplished. We kept the tax cuts."
By the way, rumor has it, Scooter Libby will enjoy loyalty perks for many years to come. Little things. Like Dick Cheney's next grandchild will be named Scooter.
- Not Scooter Cheney. Probably Scooter Halliburton.
You know, Scooter Libby could still talk. I figure there's only one way to shut him up for good -- make him a general.
Since the President refuses to let anyone in his administration testify before Congress about the firings of federal prosecutors, Democrats say they'll subpoena Laura Bush. Laura might want to testify.
- Hey, she might have heard something!
- Laura's not the type of lady to hide behind executive-spouse privilege.
Besides, George is going to be out of work in a couple of years -- he'll be 63 and another three years from Social Security.
- Laura might feel like it's time to make a name for herself.
- Maybe run for the senate from New York or something.
- You can't spend the rest of your life hanging around the library selling T-shirts.
The baseball All Star game is Tuesday in San Francisco. It's at AT&T Park. Everybody at the game will get a collect phone call from Cuba.
- "Ola! Ees Rafael there?"
- "Tell heem Seeester Maria, reader/advisor, has read the goat's breath, and shoes at the ballpark today, on the field and in the stands, will be splattered with 14,743 gallons of tobacco juice."
- "On the ballpark spit pool, go ahead, bet the farm!"
NBA finals MVP Tony Parker and "Desperate Housewives” co-star Eva Longoria were married in France this weekend. It was a marriage made in tabloid heaven.
- They say Eva was such a beautiful bride, half-way through the ceremony Tony went out for a beer and nobody noticed.
Love & Learn
Wentz Lyrics Push Fall Out Boy to Rare Heights - Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz may write emotional lyrics about all sorts of heartbreaky things, but you will not see a tear anywhere near his black-linered eyes.
Answers - Up and down the length and breadth and width of Greater Ponca City people are stirring. They're beginning to ask questions. And, on THIS program, when listeners look deep into their souls and come up with a question, they WILL get an answer!
Hit Your Peak with Super Foods - Edible superstar foods will give your body many of the nutrients it requires to operate at peak performance. Hint: It's not pizza.
Tween 12 and 20: Cool Advice for Teens and Their Parents - Student shouldn't be punished for grades .. Give your father a call .. Teen drivers are not invincible .. American teens use more drugs than Europeans .. Playing favorites hurts .. Drinker is breaking the law ..
Shallow Thoughts
This portion of today's blog is brought to your by Bloat Light, the exciting new beer that makes your belly look like a weather balloon. Hey, it may be light, but it's still beer.
At a nude beach, with my luck, I'd sit on a jellyfish.
Different people handle gray hair in different ways. For example, my wife handles it with tweezers.
Wiffle bullets for today's blog were supplied by the National Humane Rifle Association, the exciting new group for hunters who love guns but prefer to shoot only stuffed animals
posted by Joe Hickman at 7:18 PM
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