Monday, June 25, 2007

Six Flags Over Mosul

Big News

California wild fires destroyed 220 homes in less than a day. California asked for emergency federal assistance, but FEMA said it'll be Thursday before they can send emergency marshmallows.
- Apparently, the Secretary of Health, Education and Marshmallows is on a fact-finding trip to Tahiti and forgot to take his cellphone.

Didja hear? Dubai's building a theme park. Hey, maybe we could help al-Qaida build a theme park, something they could be proud of, Six Flags Over Mosul.
- The great challenge, of course, would be getting it finished before one of them blows it up.
- "Okay, all you retired suicide bombers line up for the Shockwave."

Paris Hilton may be released from jail any time now. Since Paris has found God, her first big challenge was to get home without violated more than six of the Pope's Ten Commandments for the Car.

Angelina Jolie said in an interview that she and Brad Pitt hope to have as many as 14 kids. That's great. We need more children. In today's world children are the role models! We've got to make the adults go back to school and let the kids teach them how to get along.

Love & Learn

Today's Health Scene: The Skinny on Skin Cancer - In a world of sound bites and Internet rumors, it's not always easy to distinguish fact from fiction. But when it comes to skin cancer, being able to exclude the myths and embrace the truth may save your life.

Moving Warnings - Since this is the time of year when lots of people are moving, we're proud to present another warning in our award-losing series, "What to Expect When You Don't Know What to Expect When Moving."

Trivia: Saved TV Shows - Fans of "Jericho" fought to save their show and apparently won. How much do you know about this and other saved shows?

Pro Golf Tips - Learn the intricacies of the game from professional Tina Michelson.

Pop Talk: Norah Jones Takes 'Simple Music' and Runs with It - Norah Jones has been the best-selling female singer-songwriter of the past five years.

Now, today's safe driving tip:

Remember, never turn right-on-red when the driver coming at you has both hands over his face for protection.

Shallow Thoughts

My son's in Little League. In fact, this year he moved up to the "A" team. That's kids who don't cry anymore when they strike out.

I had a sore left arm. I told my doctor, "The pain is intense." He said, "Stay out of tents."

So much medical waste is washing up on the beaches: bandages ... syringes ... malpractice lawyers...

People who buy lottery tickets will toss $20 bills into wishing wells.

I think it's going to be a hot summer. The gophers are putting in a pool.

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