Guns, NRA, Congress, & Morons
Big News
The U.S. House moved Wednesday to fix flaws in the national gun background check system that allows morons to buy guns. Even the NRA supports the bill, despite the fact morons sometimes have lots of money to spend on guns, many being related to Republicans.
- Yes, some morons are related to Democrats -- but they can only afford slingshots.
- Who knows? If we can stop morons from buying guns, some day maybe we can stop selling them to terrorists.
What's all this crap about "The Sopranos?" Folks, only 9-million people watched that show. That means the other 291 million of us had something better to do.
- You get the idea the TV critics are joining the politicians in not having a clue anymore about real life. Come on, guys, get out here and talk to people!
- What is "The Sopranos" anyway? One of those reality shows that keeps going until they vote off another fat lady?
Anybody hear anything today about the astronauts? We're so caught up with Paris Hilton and some dumb TV show that didn't end like the TV critics wanted, we forgot the astronauts!
- They landed yesterday and nobody was there! They had to carry their own bags!
This just in. Congress today voted to take enough money from the U.S. border security budget to build a 20-foot wall around Paris Hilton.
- A mobile wall -- one that goes wherever she goes.
- Some say it's welfare -- others say it's homeland security.
Love & Learn
Daddies and Slippery Socks - There is just something about a daddy. Men simply produce a different kind of energy.
A Father Named Volney - He was a child of poverty, heading a family at age 11 in Eclectic, Alabama, after his father died of a heart attack. He had no middle name. "Couldn't afford one," he always said, grinning as he said it. He grinned a lot.
The Skim Milk Cow - New Zealand scientists have discovered that some cows have genes that give them a natural ability to produce skim milk. Can chocolate milk be far behind?
A Father's Day Prayer - Holy Father, You are the one who knows how absolutely special fathers are. You made them that way.
Father's Day Fun - Father's Day is not such a big deal simply because, even when a man becomes a father, somewhere there's a woman doing all the work.
Shallow Thoughts
Spring fever slows everything down. Fast things slow down; slow things stop; FEMA goes backwards...
If you are what you eat, guys at the beach must eat a lot of Jelly Bellies.
This week two seasons come to an end -- the NBA season and the Texas Rangers season.
The worst part of swimming in a lake is when you go home smelling like your dog.
When baseball players are trying to rally, they turn their caps upside-down. When hockey players rally, they swap teeth.
The U.S. House moved Wednesday to fix flaws in the national gun background check system that allows morons to buy guns. Even the NRA supports the bill, despite the fact morons sometimes have lots of money to spend on guns, many being related to Republicans.
- Yes, some morons are related to Democrats -- but they can only afford slingshots.
- Who knows? If we can stop morons from buying guns, some day maybe we can stop selling them to terrorists.
What's all this crap about "The Sopranos?" Folks, only 9-million people watched that show. That means the other 291 million of us had something better to do.
- You get the idea the TV critics are joining the politicians in not having a clue anymore about real life. Come on, guys, get out here and talk to people!
- What is "The Sopranos" anyway? One of those reality shows that keeps going until they vote off another fat lady?
Anybody hear anything today about the astronauts? We're so caught up with Paris Hilton and some dumb TV show that didn't end like the TV critics wanted, we forgot the astronauts!
- They landed yesterday and nobody was there! They had to carry their own bags!
This just in. Congress today voted to take enough money from the U.S. border security budget to build a 20-foot wall around Paris Hilton.
- A mobile wall -- one that goes wherever she goes.
- Some say it's welfare -- others say it's homeland security.
Love & Learn
Daddies and Slippery Socks - There is just something about a daddy. Men simply produce a different kind of energy.
A Father Named Volney - He was a child of poverty, heading a family at age 11 in Eclectic, Alabama, after his father died of a heart attack. He had no middle name. "Couldn't afford one," he always said, grinning as he said it. He grinned a lot.
The Skim Milk Cow - New Zealand scientists have discovered that some cows have genes that give them a natural ability to produce skim milk. Can chocolate milk be far behind?
A Father's Day Prayer - Holy Father, You are the one who knows how absolutely special fathers are. You made them that way.
Father's Day Fun - Father's Day is not such a big deal simply because, even when a man becomes a father, somewhere there's a woman doing all the work.
Shallow Thoughts
Spring fever slows everything down. Fast things slow down; slow things stop; FEMA goes backwards...
If you are what you eat, guys at the beach must eat a lot of Jelly Bellies.
This week two seasons come to an end -- the NBA season and the Texas Rangers season.
The worst part of swimming in a lake is when you go home smelling like your dog.
When baseball players are trying to rally, they turn their caps upside-down. When hockey players rally, they swap teeth.
posted by Joe Hickman at 3:45 PM
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