Happy Meal Tip: Do Not Eat the Toy!
Big News
Hundreds of Palestinians crossed into Egypt Wednesday after angry militants stole two bulldozers and smashed through the wall separating Gaza and Egypt. With thousands of Egyptian troops nearby, maybe the Palestinian attack should be called a "suicide bulldozing."
- It's like I've always said, "Give an angry militant a bulldozer, there's just no telling what he'll do.
Rocker Pete Townshend has warned iPod users they may face hearing problems if they don't turn down the volume. Unfortunately, none of them could hear him.
- Not a problem, though, since iPod will soon have an new model you just implant in your brain.
Mick Jagger and his bandmates may be nearing senior citizenship, but Super Bowl planners only want people 45 and younger to take the field during the Rolling Stones' halftime show. That's understandable. You could imagine the hoopla if some old geezerette had a wardrobe malfunction?
- Personally, I worried about Jagger's pants staying up.
- Until I found out his belt buckle has a molly bolt that fastens right into his belly button.
Thrilling Thursday
Thursday is National Secondhand Wardrobe Day, a day to encourage thrift store donations.
Wyoming inaugurated America's first woman governor on December 5 in 1925. When Nellie Ross walked in, they say you could hear toilet lids slamming down all over the governor's mansion.
The Grand American Coon Hunt is this weekend in Orangeburg, South Carolina, culminating Saturday with selection of the Grand American Champion Coon Dog. They do not select the Grand American Champion Coon, which seems a little unfair. But I suppose your average champion coon prefers to keep a low profile anyway.
- Thousands and hunters and coon dogs will be there. It's really scary for raccoons -- or women wearing too much eye makeup.
- Being selected Grand American Champion Coon Dog is worth big bucks in pro howling contracts and tick spray endorsements.
To Learn to Speak
Can Fear of Public Speaking Actually Make You a Better Speaker? - This veteran speaker believes it can, and offers helps for controlling, not eliminating, nervousness. In fact, he says a good speaker may want to be a little nervous.
Thoughts During "Law & Order" Commercials
They tell you not to drink and drive, yet the average new van has 14 cup holders.
One reason for a post-holiday letdown is that now you have to think up a whole new excuse to go shopping.
The germs I hate the most are the ones that feel like they're using your intestines as a theme park.
I've been a little different ever since I was a kid and my parents bought me Happy Meals and I ate the toys.
Hundreds of Palestinians crossed into Egypt Wednesday after angry militants stole two bulldozers and smashed through the wall separating Gaza and Egypt. With thousands of Egyptian troops nearby, maybe the Palestinian attack should be called a "suicide bulldozing."
- It's like I've always said, "Give an angry militant a bulldozer, there's just no telling what he'll do.
Rocker Pete Townshend has warned iPod users they may face hearing problems if they don't turn down the volume. Unfortunately, none of them could hear him.
- Not a problem, though, since iPod will soon have an new model you just implant in your brain.
Mick Jagger and his bandmates may be nearing senior citizenship, but Super Bowl planners only want people 45 and younger to take the field during the Rolling Stones' halftime show. That's understandable. You could imagine the hoopla if some old geezerette had a wardrobe malfunction?
- Personally, I worried about Jagger's pants staying up.
- Until I found out his belt buckle has a molly bolt that fastens right into his belly button.
Thrilling Thursday
Thursday is National Secondhand Wardrobe Day, a day to encourage thrift store donations.
Wyoming inaugurated America's first woman governor on December 5 in 1925. When Nellie Ross walked in, they say you could hear toilet lids slamming down all over the governor's mansion.
The Grand American Coon Hunt is this weekend in Orangeburg, South Carolina, culminating Saturday with selection of the Grand American Champion Coon Dog. They do not select the Grand American Champion Coon, which seems a little unfair. But I suppose your average champion coon prefers to keep a low profile anyway.
- Thousands and hunters and coon dogs will be there. It's really scary for raccoons -- or women wearing too much eye makeup.
- Being selected Grand American Champion Coon Dog is worth big bucks in pro howling contracts and tick spray endorsements.
To Learn to Speak
Can Fear of Public Speaking Actually Make You a Better Speaker? - This veteran speaker believes it can, and offers helps for controlling, not eliminating, nervousness. In fact, he says a good speaker may want to be a little nervous.
Thoughts During "Law & Order" Commercials
They tell you not to drink and drive, yet the average new van has 14 cup holders.
One reason for a post-holiday letdown is that now you have to think up a whole new excuse to go shopping.
The germs I hate the most are the ones that feel like they're using your intestines as a theme park.
I've been a little different ever since I was a kid and my parents bought me Happy Meals and I ate the toys.
posted by Joe Hickman at 1:06 PM
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