King Kong's Health Insurer?
Big News
Well, here it is 2006, and you know what that means -- time to pay for 2005.
Having New Year's Eve on Saturday can be embarrassing -- especially on Sunday when you notice three sopranos and a bass in the choir are wearing party hats.
In case I forget in April, I went ahead and set my clock up an hour.
I'm glad the holiday season is over. All that holiday cheer and goodwill toward men was getting depressing.
President Bush on Sunday strongly defended his domestic spying program, contending domestic spies are the worst kind. They can embarrass you.
- The President said he must stay the course and continue to spy domestically as long as he can draw breath and eavesdrop with his good ear.
Producers say "King Kong" hasn't made as much profit as they'd hoped. You can understand their disappointment. Just keeping The Monkey King in fried banana sandwiches must cost a fortune.
- Kong's barber gets hazardous styling pay.
- Premiums have doubled on his health policy -- Blue Cross Blue Ape.
- And even though Kong is 73 years old he still can't get MediMonkeyCare.
- Apparently, after 911, President Bush secretly cancelled all government pork for big apes.
Magnificent Monday
Monday is Happy Mew Year for Cats Day. Cats insist on holidays all their own. (Sponsored by Thomas & Ruth Roy of Lebanon, Pennsylvania, 717-279-0184)
January was named for Janus, the two-faced god. Janus could look forward and backward at the same time. He had to look at his feet to know if he was coming or going.
January 2nd is the anniversary of the first successful heart transplant in 1968. This proved the way to a man's heart is through his health insurance.
Tex Ritter died on January 2nd in 1974. Tex moved from Texas to Broadway to Hollywood to Nashville. He could sing "Blood on the Saddle" better than anybody, even Pavarotti or Madonna.
- Actually, Tex Ritter wasn't from Texas, he was from Idaho. But how many cowboys want to be called Ida?
On January 2nd in 1952, Pope Pius the 12th declared that television was a threat to family life. But strangely, one of the few things families still do together is fight over the remote.
Loving & Learning
Bowling: Still Cool After All These Years - Kids and teens love bowling, and many adults continue to bowl throughout their lives. Bowling is for the young and the old.
Thoughts While Undecking the Hall
You know it's January when you've returned all your Christmas gifts, signed up for Weight Watchers, and put the fruitcake away for another year.
I had a terrible nightmare. On New Year's Eve I dreamed that drunken New Yorkers shorted out all of North America, thinking the big ball descending in Times Square was a piñata.
Ambulance service for today's blog was provided by Federal Express. Call Federal Express, when overnight is fast enough.
Well, here it is 2006, and you know what that means -- time to pay for 2005.
Having New Year's Eve on Saturday can be embarrassing -- especially on Sunday when you notice three sopranos and a bass in the choir are wearing party hats.
In case I forget in April, I went ahead and set my clock up an hour.
I'm glad the holiday season is over. All that holiday cheer and goodwill toward men was getting depressing.
President Bush on Sunday strongly defended his domestic spying program, contending domestic spies are the worst kind. They can embarrass you.
- The President said he must stay the course and continue to spy domestically as long as he can draw breath and eavesdrop with his good ear.
Producers say "King Kong" hasn't made as much profit as they'd hoped. You can understand their disappointment. Just keeping The Monkey King in fried banana sandwiches must cost a fortune.
- Kong's barber gets hazardous styling pay.
- Premiums have doubled on his health policy -- Blue Cross Blue Ape.
- And even though Kong is 73 years old he still can't get MediMonkeyCare.
- Apparently, after 911, President Bush secretly cancelled all government pork for big apes.
Magnificent Monday
Monday is Happy Mew Year for Cats Day. Cats insist on holidays all their own. (Sponsored by Thomas & Ruth Roy of Lebanon, Pennsylvania, 717-279-0184)
January was named for Janus, the two-faced god. Janus could look forward and backward at the same time. He had to look at his feet to know if he was coming or going.
January 2nd is the anniversary of the first successful heart transplant in 1968. This proved the way to a man's heart is through his health insurance.
Tex Ritter died on January 2nd in 1974. Tex moved from Texas to Broadway to Hollywood to Nashville. He could sing "Blood on the Saddle" better than anybody, even Pavarotti or Madonna.
- Actually, Tex Ritter wasn't from Texas, he was from Idaho. But how many cowboys want to be called Ida?
On January 2nd in 1952, Pope Pius the 12th declared that television was a threat to family life. But strangely, one of the few things families still do together is fight over the remote.
Loving & Learning
Bowling: Still Cool After All These Years - Kids and teens love bowling, and many adults continue to bowl throughout their lives. Bowling is for the young and the old.
Thoughts While Undecking the Hall
You know it's January when you've returned all your Christmas gifts, signed up for Weight Watchers, and put the fruitcake away for another year.
I had a terrible nightmare. On New Year's Eve I dreamed that drunken New Yorkers shorted out all of North America, thinking the big ball descending in Times Square was a piñata.
Ambulance service for today's blog was provided by Federal Express. Call Federal Express, when overnight is fast enough.
posted by Joe Hickman at 12:52 PM
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