Mail All Excess Water to Texas!
Big News
Well, the holidays are officially over, and all the turkeys that weren't eaten are headed back to Washington.
The bowl games are over, and with the pressure off, the couch cushions are regaining their shape.
It's a new year, time to take stock of what we have and whether we'll ever be able to pay for it.
Weary fire crews kept up their fight Monday to contain major grass fires across Texas that had burned dozens of homes. President Bush encouraged his fellow Texans to stay the course and fight fire with fire. So, apparently, the state is almost out of water.
- It's so dry in North Texas the water is only wet on one side.
- Unfortunately, plans fell through to fly everybody at the Rose Bowl Parade to Texas and ring them out over Dallas.
The Rams, Packers, Texans, and Saints all fired their coaches on Monday. It was either that or declare the teams legally dead.
- The reason these teams aren't playing football in January is because they didn't play football in October, November, and December.
- The Texans couldn't win with Santa and eight reindeer in the backfield.
Terrific Tuesday
Tuesday is National Write to Congress Day, a time to express your opinions.
Congress reconvenes Tuesday. Sorry.
- Fortunately, they won't do much, probably just vote themselves a pay raise and issue a press release denying any wrong-doing.
M.C. Stone patented the drinking straw on January 3 in 1888. Before the drinking straw, kids had no way to make loud slurpy noises or to blow bubbles in their chocolate milk.
Love & Learn
Go Ahead, Test Your Sense of Humor - Check your ability to give laughter or to be the instigator of playfulness. Can you laugh yourself? Are you more yin or yang? A fun quiz can be revealing.
The Best Meat Loaf in the World - This is fast, made-from-scratch meat loaf, all beef meat loaf glazed with ketchup, brown sugar, and nutmeg.
Creation
First there was man. Then there was woman. Then there was temptation, followed shortly by The National Enquirer.
Thoughts While Flossing
Uncle Elmo said he left the New Year's Eve party early -- right after he saw Elvis ride in on a pink reindeer.
There was some sloppy play in the bowl games. I've seen better tackling on Jerry Springer.
Gosh, who would have thought it? Another year gone by, and I'm still partially sane.
Hey, I'm such a veteran at breaking New Year's resolutions, I don't even feel guilty anymore.
Well, the holidays are officially over, and all the turkeys that weren't eaten are headed back to Washington.
The bowl games are over, and with the pressure off, the couch cushions are regaining their shape.
It's a new year, time to take stock of what we have and whether we'll ever be able to pay for it.
Weary fire crews kept up their fight Monday to contain major grass fires across Texas that had burned dozens of homes. President Bush encouraged his fellow Texans to stay the course and fight fire with fire. So, apparently, the state is almost out of water.
- It's so dry in North Texas the water is only wet on one side.
- Unfortunately, plans fell through to fly everybody at the Rose Bowl Parade to Texas and ring them out over Dallas.
The Rams, Packers, Texans, and Saints all fired their coaches on Monday. It was either that or declare the teams legally dead.
- The reason these teams aren't playing football in January is because they didn't play football in October, November, and December.
- The Texans couldn't win with Santa and eight reindeer in the backfield.
Terrific Tuesday
Tuesday is National Write to Congress Day, a time to express your opinions.
Congress reconvenes Tuesday. Sorry.
- Fortunately, they won't do much, probably just vote themselves a pay raise and issue a press release denying any wrong-doing.
M.C. Stone patented the drinking straw on January 3 in 1888. Before the drinking straw, kids had no way to make loud slurpy noises or to blow bubbles in their chocolate milk.
Love & Learn
Go Ahead, Test Your Sense of Humor - Check your ability to give laughter or to be the instigator of playfulness. Can you laugh yourself? Are you more yin or yang? A fun quiz can be revealing.
The Best Meat Loaf in the World - This is fast, made-from-scratch meat loaf, all beef meat loaf glazed with ketchup, brown sugar, and nutmeg.
Creation
First there was man. Then there was woman. Then there was temptation, followed shortly by The National Enquirer.
Thoughts While Flossing
Uncle Elmo said he left the New Year's Eve party early -- right after he saw Elvis ride in on a pink reindeer.
There was some sloppy play in the bowl games. I've seen better tackling on Jerry Springer.
Gosh, who would have thought it? Another year gone by, and I'm still partially sane.
Hey, I'm such a veteran at breaking New Year's resolutions, I don't even feel guilty anymore.
posted by Joe Hickman at 12:43 PM
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