Rudolph's Nose Shorts Out

Big News

President Bush wants to increase the size of the Army and Marines. So what's he going to do? Draft their mothers to provide home cooking?
- Or just add lard to the beer?
- It probably would taste better.

The Pentagon wants another $100-billion for Iraq and Afghanistan. They need one more big pay day for Halliburton before the Democrats take over.

This just in from the North Pole. Santa Claus announced today he will stay the course and deliver toys to all good little Republican boys and and their girlfriends.
- Assuming Rudolph can get his nose rewired in time.
- Dumb reindeer keeps sticking his nose in the wrong place and blowing fuses.

Love & Learn

Decor Score - The artful way to decorate a home.

WellNews - All the news that's fit. A different look at health and fitness news, fun facts, and trivia.

Sports Fact - Number 7 brings luck in Pro Football Hall of Fame ... Sports Fact - Football won over chariot races in Pasadena ... Sports Fact - NASA astronaut makes historic drive.

Home How To - Tips for do-it-yourselfers: Caring for your silver ... Cleaning cultured marble ... Chimney flashing.

Shallow Thoughts

Everyone gets something for Christmas. Rich people get gifts and poor people get tax forms.

I must be losing my mind. Every time I walk into a mall I hear bells.

Mistletoe for today's blog is supplied by Marvelous Marvin's Mood Mistletoe, gathered by Malaysian monks from the mysterious mononucleosis tree and guaranteed to turn bright orange when Mr. Right attacks you under it.
- Available at participating Conoco stations.