Wednesday, November 22, 2006

National Turkey More Popular than President

News and Nonsense. Which Is Which?

It was embarrassing. President Bush pardoned the National Thanksgiving Turkey. The turkey said, "Thanks, Bro."
- It was quite a surprise. The President pardoned two National Turkeys, and both were birds.
- Everybody thought at least one would be Scooter Libby.

One turkey farm employed a unique labor-saving device this year. They piped in Paris Hilton's CD and the turkeys wrung their own necks.

Tanksgiving gives us one last chance to give thanks for everything -- before we spend it on Christmas.

I always start my Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I know by then all the toys advertised on TV are already sold out.

Love & Learn

Ten Tips to Transform Thanksgiving - Here is an offering of ten simple ideas that can help add more meaning to your Thanksgiving experience.

Today's Scene: Turkey Trivia - Gather 'round, pilgrims, and test your knowledge of Turkey Day trivia.

Editorial: Punishing Babies Is Not Immigration Reform - In the world of politics, there are bad ideas and then there are ideas that are just plain dreadful.

LifeWire - Tips to maintain a fire-safe home this winter.

Ed Bradley, Gentleman Journalist - During his 25 years at "60 Minutes," where he produced 500 pieces, he established himself as one of television's most enduring fixtures - ranking among the TV's all-time most influential blacks.

Inside People: Cheating Children - Parents should build trust and cut cheating by example. It takes a little more work, but it is worth it.

Today's turkey trivia:

The turkey is the dumbest domesticated creature on earth. Yet the turkey, as stupid as he is, has sense enough not to stuff himself on Thanksgiving.

Shallow Thoughts

The first Thanksgiving was celebrated by Pilgrims and wild Indians. We don't have Pilgrims anymore. All we have are Democrats and Republicans running around like wild Indians.

Turkeys on today's blog were stuffed by We Stuff It, the fastest turkey stuffers in town.
- Yes, ladies, if stuffing a turkey makes you want to throw up, this year bring your bird to We Stuff It.
- Just stuff it through our convenient drive-through window and we stuff it while you wait. You don't even have to look.
- Not to be confused with Giblets 'R' Us, where they sometimes forget to wash their hands.

Strange isn't it? We're upset about foreigners coming here, but the big reason we celebrate Thanksgiving is because foreigners came here.

The turkeys we buy are expensive, but not nearly as costly as the ones we elect.

I love Thanksgiving. All the relatives come over. We have four generations getting indigestion together.

I have this gut feeling that people who eat cranberry sauce will eat just about anything.

Remember, for that true Texas Thanksgiving taste, roast your armadillo in the shell.
- Of course, you'll have to carve it with a sharp chainsaw.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home