Honoring George, Abe ... Millard...
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Government offices are closed Monday for President’s Day. No one will be working. Signs will be posted so that the public can tell the difference. (Alan Ray)
Except for calls to overhaul FEMA, not much is expected to happen in Washington this week. Unless, of course, Dick Cheney decides to shoot his mouth off to Fox News again.
Marvelous Monday
Monday is Presidents Day in the U.S., a day to honor all former presidents, even Millard Fillmore. We do not honor George W. Bush today simply because no president should be honored while he can still do damage.
Presidents Day js the official birthday of George Washington, the father of our country & western. Appropriate things to do:
- Get your wig powdered.
- Varnish your teeth.
- Try to hum "Yankee Doodle Dandy" while chugging a cherry Slurpee.
- March to Valley Forge and overthrow an insurance company.
- Try to go all day without telling a lie.
Presidents Day is supposed to honor all former presidents, but Democrats don't want to honor Republican presidents and Republicans don't want to honor Democrat presidents so, instead, everybody just goes shopping.
Charles Barkley is 39 on Monday. Now that he's retired, Charles is finally maturing and doesn't spit on fans anymore. Which is nice. Because it was really inconvenient to take an umbrella to a basketball game.
- Actually, Charles stopped spitting on fans when he moved to Houston. He knew Houston fans would take him down to the Ship Channel and wash his mouth out with pollution.
Love & Learn
EUREKA! - Discoveries for the scientifically bent. But fun for everyone.
Flower, Veggie of the Year - Each year the National Garden Bureau picks two plants as flower and vegetable of the year.
A reader writes:
"What should you do when it's freezing outside and your pilot light goes out?"
- Well, as quickly as possible I think I'd set her down at the nearest airport.
Et al.
I played basketball in high school. In fact, my senior year they retired my sweatsocks.
My inner space needs vacuuming.
I have to admit I'm doing much better on my diet since my wife put "The Club" on the refrigerator door.
Remember what they say about winter: "You'll never enjoy the sweet smell of spring -- until the hairs in your nose thaw."
Government offices are closed Monday for President’s Day. No one will be working. Signs will be posted so that the public can tell the difference. (Alan Ray)
Except for calls to overhaul FEMA, not much is expected to happen in Washington this week. Unless, of course, Dick Cheney decides to shoot his mouth off to Fox News again.
Marvelous Monday
Monday is Presidents Day in the U.S., a day to honor all former presidents, even Millard Fillmore. We do not honor George W. Bush today simply because no president should be honored while he can still do damage.
Presidents Day js the official birthday of George Washington, the father of our country & western. Appropriate things to do:
- Get your wig powdered.
- Varnish your teeth.
- Try to hum "Yankee Doodle Dandy" while chugging a cherry Slurpee.
- March to Valley Forge and overthrow an insurance company.
- Try to go all day without telling a lie.
Presidents Day is supposed to honor all former presidents, but Democrats don't want to honor Republican presidents and Republicans don't want to honor Democrat presidents so, instead, everybody just goes shopping.
Charles Barkley is 39 on Monday. Now that he's retired, Charles is finally maturing and doesn't spit on fans anymore. Which is nice. Because it was really inconvenient to take an umbrella to a basketball game.
- Actually, Charles stopped spitting on fans when he moved to Houston. He knew Houston fans would take him down to the Ship Channel and wash his mouth out with pollution.
Love & Learn
EUREKA! - Discoveries for the scientifically bent. But fun for everyone.
Flower, Veggie of the Year - Each year the National Garden Bureau picks two plants as flower and vegetable of the year.
A reader writes:
"What should you do when it's freezing outside and your pilot light goes out?"
- Well, as quickly as possible I think I'd set her down at the nearest airport.
Et al.
I played basketball in high school. In fact, my senior year they retired my sweatsocks.
My inner space needs vacuuming.
I have to admit I'm doing much better on my diet since my wife put "The Club" on the refrigerator door.
Remember what they say about winter: "You'll never enjoy the sweet smell of spring -- until the hairs in your nose thaw."
posted by Joe Hickman at 12:00 PM
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