Your Cow May Vary
Big News
President Bush stayed the course Wednesday and defended his decision to go to war in Iraq. And if we weren't at war in Iraq, he gritted his teeth and said he'd stay the course there anyway.
- Democrats admitted gritting his teeth was new.
The House easily approved renewing a modified USA Patriot Act on Wednesday. Obviously, House members aren't worried about protecting their own privacy. They probably never go to the library anyway.
- Lobbyists do all their reading for them.
"King Kong" is gearing up for a monster, uh, gorilla weekend at the movie box office. Then what's he going to do? He's going to DisneyWorld! With Jessica Simpson!
- "Blondes really curl my hair," says Kong.
- Then he wants his own show on satellite radio -- like his hairy little idol, Howard Stern.
- Then maybe take a fishing trip with Chewbacca....
Mariah Carey will perform live from Times Square on ABC's "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve." My guess is Mariah just wants to see if she can hit a note high enough to shatter the big glass ball.
Therrific Thursday
Thursday is Coonskin Cap Day, marking the debut of "Davy Crockett" on TV's "Disneyland" on this date in 1954. Within weeks, millions of kids were wearing coonskin caps though the real Davy, himself, never wore one. He just had big ratty hair.
The moon enters its full moon phase Thursday night, so be careful. Even if he does have a white beard and is wearing a red suit, don't sit on any guy's lap if he has fangs.
On December 15th in 37 A.D., the 5th Roman emperor Nero was born. He didn’t really play the fiddle while Rome burned. And the devil probably never went down to Georgia, either.
History's largest dog show opened in London on December 15th in 1984, with 14,611 dogs exhibited. Wow, can you imagine how long the line was at the fire hydrant?
Love & Learn & Laugh
10 Free and Low-Cost Ways to Give Kids the Best Christmas Ever - The real magic of Christmas – the stuff that makes kids’ eyes light up, gives them a warm glow inside, and creates delicious memories – costs little or nothing.
The Comedy of Rita Rudner - As gentle, insightful, hilarious fluff as you will ever find.
Today's Exciting Holiday Brain Stretcher
Which came first, the egg or the nog?
Today's Fascinating Dairy Cow Trivia Question:
How many squirts does it take from a cow to make a pound of butter?
- It takes about 350 squirts from the average cow to make a pound of butter. Squirt efficiency is based on ideal milking conditions and contented cows. Your cow may vary.
Today's Old-Fashioned Italian Christmas Cooking Tip
If you want an old-fashioned Italian Christmas, you simply have to serve roast eel. First, you need a plump, juicy eel that's still alive. Then, just before you roast it, you have to kill it by drowning it in three quarts of your best wine.
- Normally, the eel will be just right for roasting about the time you regain consciousness.
Leftovers
'Tis the season to be jolly, if you can afford jolly. Me, I can only afford pleasant. If you want jolly, you have to bring your own.
Remember, Ho Ho Ho spelled backwards is Oh Oh Oh!
Now be honest. Have you found any blog anywhere half as unique and three-fifths as much fun as HaBlog? Me neither.
- So how about pinging your friends?
President Bush stayed the course Wednesday and defended his decision to go to war in Iraq. And if we weren't at war in Iraq, he gritted his teeth and said he'd stay the course there anyway.
- Democrats admitted gritting his teeth was new.
The House easily approved renewing a modified USA Patriot Act on Wednesday. Obviously, House members aren't worried about protecting their own privacy. They probably never go to the library anyway.
- Lobbyists do all their reading for them.
"King Kong" is gearing up for a monster, uh, gorilla weekend at the movie box office. Then what's he going to do? He's going to DisneyWorld! With Jessica Simpson!
- "Blondes really curl my hair," says Kong.
- Then he wants his own show on satellite radio -- like his hairy little idol, Howard Stern.
- Then maybe take a fishing trip with Chewbacca....
Mariah Carey will perform live from Times Square on ABC's "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve." My guess is Mariah just wants to see if she can hit a note high enough to shatter the big glass ball.
Therrific Thursday
Thursday is Coonskin Cap Day, marking the debut of "Davy Crockett" on TV's "Disneyland" on this date in 1954. Within weeks, millions of kids were wearing coonskin caps though the real Davy, himself, never wore one. He just had big ratty hair.
The moon enters its full moon phase Thursday night, so be careful. Even if he does have a white beard and is wearing a red suit, don't sit on any guy's lap if he has fangs.
On December 15th in 37 A.D., the 5th Roman emperor Nero was born. He didn’t really play the fiddle while Rome burned. And the devil probably never went down to Georgia, either.
History's largest dog show opened in London on December 15th in 1984, with 14,611 dogs exhibited. Wow, can you imagine how long the line was at the fire hydrant?
Love & Learn & Laugh
10 Free and Low-Cost Ways to Give Kids the Best Christmas Ever - The real magic of Christmas – the stuff that makes kids’ eyes light up, gives them a warm glow inside, and creates delicious memories – costs little or nothing.
The Comedy of Rita Rudner - As gentle, insightful, hilarious fluff as you will ever find.
Today's Exciting Holiday Brain Stretcher
Which came first, the egg or the nog?
Today's Fascinating Dairy Cow Trivia Question:
How many squirts does it take from a cow to make a pound of butter?
- It takes about 350 squirts from the average cow to make a pound of butter. Squirt efficiency is based on ideal milking conditions and contented cows. Your cow may vary.
Today's Old-Fashioned Italian Christmas Cooking Tip
If you want an old-fashioned Italian Christmas, you simply have to serve roast eel. First, you need a plump, juicy eel that's still alive. Then, just before you roast it, you have to kill it by drowning it in three quarts of your best wine.
- Normally, the eel will be just right for roasting about the time you regain consciousness.
Leftovers
'Tis the season to be jolly, if you can afford jolly. Me, I can only afford pleasant. If you want jolly, you have to bring your own.
Remember, Ho Ho Ho spelled backwards is Oh Oh Oh!
Now be honest. Have you found any blog anywhere half as unique and three-fifths as much fun as HaBlog? Me neither.
- So how about pinging your friends?
posted by Joe Hickman at 1:45 PM
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