Gubmuh-hab!
Big News
President Bush mapped out his Iraq war strategy on Wednesday and set a new record for using the phrase "stay the course." Obviously, there is a serious shortage of clichés at the White House.
President Bush surprised everyone today by nominating Jessica Simpson to the U.S. Supreme Court. He said when he nominated that other guy, he didn't know Daisy would be available.
- And his brother Jeb and Boss Hogg are like peas in an iPod.
This just in. A leading political analyst said Wednesday President Bush's popularity is now so low that by 2008 his own presidential library may charge him admission.
Homeland Security officials say airline passengers will be allowed to carry scissors and tools onboard aircrafts. This is the government's way of saying Martha Stewart can fly again.
Doctors in France have performed the world's first partial face transplant, grafting a nose, lips and chin onto a 38-year-old woman disfigured by a dog bite. In a related story, Michael Jackson was seen in Paris ... face shopping.
Thrilling Thursday
Cookie Cutter Week begins Thursday, sponsored by the Cookie Cutter Collectors Club of Lawrenceburg, Kentucky (502-839-4929).
Thursday is My Husband Strung the Christmas Lights and Now I Can't Open the Garage Door Day, commemorating an alleged actual event described by a radio listener named Mary Jo.
Edwin Lower patented Bingo on December 1st in 1929. Thank goodness. Otherwise, some folks would waste all their money on lottery tickets.
This is National Aardvark Week, a time to appreciate the aardvark, especially the Japanese pot-bellied aardvark. Which can be taught to eat termites with chopsticks.
In Latin, December means the 10th month, which makes no sense at all. But in illiterate Greek, December spelled backwards means "bah humbug," which makes more sense every year.
- By the way, bah humbug spelled backwards is gubmuh-hab, which is Cherokee for "batteries not included."
Love & Learn
Winter Bird Feeding - Looking for birds this winter? Then start preparing in the fall. Otherwise, your yard may remain empty no matter how tantalizing the treats and abundant the offerings.
Essential Laughter - Humor has the power to dull the sharp edges of life and is a great tension reliever. Laughter stimulates the soul and boosts the immune system.
Odds & Odds
You can tell it's almost Christmas. Burger King is featuring partridgeburgers.
Now, today's exciting breakfast tip for people who need to get a life. Drop an Alka-Seltzer into your cornflakes. When you pour in the milk, it'll sound like you're eating Rice Krispies.
Today's healthy passion tip. Passion is healthy. For example, passionate kissing can reduce plaque above the gum line.
President Bush mapped out his Iraq war strategy on Wednesday and set a new record for using the phrase "stay the course." Obviously, there is a serious shortage of clichés at the White House.
President Bush surprised everyone today by nominating Jessica Simpson to the U.S. Supreme Court. He said when he nominated that other guy, he didn't know Daisy would be available.
- And his brother Jeb and Boss Hogg are like peas in an iPod.
This just in. A leading political analyst said Wednesday President Bush's popularity is now so low that by 2008 his own presidential library may charge him admission.
Homeland Security officials say airline passengers will be allowed to carry scissors and tools onboard aircrafts. This is the government's way of saying Martha Stewart can fly again.
Doctors in France have performed the world's first partial face transplant, grafting a nose, lips and chin onto a 38-year-old woman disfigured by a dog bite. In a related story, Michael Jackson was seen in Paris ... face shopping.
Thrilling Thursday
Cookie Cutter Week begins Thursday, sponsored by the Cookie Cutter Collectors Club of Lawrenceburg, Kentucky (502-839-4929).
Thursday is My Husband Strung the Christmas Lights and Now I Can't Open the Garage Door Day, commemorating an alleged actual event described by a radio listener named Mary Jo.
Edwin Lower patented Bingo on December 1st in 1929. Thank goodness. Otherwise, some folks would waste all their money on lottery tickets.
This is National Aardvark Week, a time to appreciate the aardvark, especially the Japanese pot-bellied aardvark. Which can be taught to eat termites with chopsticks.
In Latin, December means the 10th month, which makes no sense at all. But in illiterate Greek, December spelled backwards means "bah humbug," which makes more sense every year.
- By the way, bah humbug spelled backwards is gubmuh-hab, which is Cherokee for "batteries not included."
Love & Learn
Winter Bird Feeding - Looking for birds this winter? Then start preparing in the fall. Otherwise, your yard may remain empty no matter how tantalizing the treats and abundant the offerings.
Essential Laughter - Humor has the power to dull the sharp edges of life and is a great tension reliever. Laughter stimulates the soul and boosts the immune system.
Odds & Odds
You can tell it's almost Christmas. Burger King is featuring partridgeburgers.
Now, today's exciting breakfast tip for people who need to get a life. Drop an Alka-Seltzer into your cornflakes. When you pour in the milk, it'll sound like you're eating Rice Krispies.
Today's healthy passion tip. Passion is healthy. For example, passionate kissing can reduce plaque above the gum line.
posted by Joe Hickman at 1:29 PM
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