My Strained Psyche
Big News
President Bush said Monday the Iraq war is "straining the psyche of our country." So, America's got a strained psyche -- and the President's got a goofy speech writer.
The University of Texas has been selected as the nation's number one party school. Unfortunately, the Longhorns were so hung over, nobody showed up to hook the award.
August 22nd in Fun History
Republicans nominated Eisenhower and Nixon for re-election on this day in 1956 at San Francisco's Cow Palace. Everybody cheered, except the cows. They mooed.
- They were probably Democrats.
At Bosworth Field on this day in 1485 King Richard the 3rd tried to swap the entire United Kingdom for a horse. But he was killed before he could close the deal.
- Actually, the best offer he got was two sheep and a retarded donkey.
- Richard the 3rd was the last of the Plantagenets and was killed by the first of the Tudors, who became Henry the 7th after finding Richard's crown hanging in a tree. In those days, royalty was a lot of fun.
State fairs are beginning to begin this week throughout America. It's an annual ritual featuring cotton candy, Ferris wheels, and fat ladies.
- And millions of parents wasting their breath trying to convince their children they have no chance of winning a giant stuffed banana.
Clara Barton founded the first American Red Cross chapter on this day in 1864. Clara expected a large turnout for the grand opening, so she fried up a huge batch of doughnuts. I understand the Red Cross still has some of them.
Love & Learn
Marriage and Longevity - Research indicates that people who marry tend to live longer.
Editorial: Lebanon - Cease-fire will measure commitment to peace.
Rules Have Changed for Carry-On Luggage - The new airline carry-on baggage restrictions recently imposed by the Transportation and Security Administration call for some lean and mean packing strategies.
Shallow Thoughts
Why can't somebody invent a device that lets you put people "on hold" at cocktail parties?
You know you're past your prime when you start suffering from air-guitar elbow!
I think yesterday was the first time I ever had my armpits bubble.
President Bush said Monday the Iraq war is "straining the psyche of our country." So, America's got a strained psyche -- and the President's got a goofy speech writer.
The University of Texas has been selected as the nation's number one party school. Unfortunately, the Longhorns were so hung over, nobody showed up to hook the award.
August 22nd in Fun History
Republicans nominated Eisenhower and Nixon for re-election on this day in 1956 at San Francisco's Cow Palace. Everybody cheered, except the cows. They mooed.
- They were probably Democrats.
At Bosworth Field on this day in 1485 King Richard the 3rd tried to swap the entire United Kingdom for a horse. But he was killed before he could close the deal.
- Actually, the best offer he got was two sheep and a retarded donkey.
- Richard the 3rd was the last of the Plantagenets and was killed by the first of the Tudors, who became Henry the 7th after finding Richard's crown hanging in a tree. In those days, royalty was a lot of fun.
State fairs are beginning to begin this week throughout America. It's an annual ritual featuring cotton candy, Ferris wheels, and fat ladies.
- And millions of parents wasting their breath trying to convince their children they have no chance of winning a giant stuffed banana.
Clara Barton founded the first American Red Cross chapter on this day in 1864. Clara expected a large turnout for the grand opening, so she fried up a huge batch of doughnuts. I understand the Red Cross still has some of them.
Love & Learn
Marriage and Longevity - Research indicates that people who marry tend to live longer.
Editorial: Lebanon - Cease-fire will measure commitment to peace.
Rules Have Changed for Carry-On Luggage - The new airline carry-on baggage restrictions recently imposed by the Transportation and Security Administration call for some lean and mean packing strategies.
Shallow Thoughts
Why can't somebody invent a device that lets you put people "on hold" at cocktail parties?
You know you're past your prime when you start suffering from air-guitar elbow!
I think yesterday was the first time I ever had my armpits bubble.
posted by Joe Hickman at 2:52 PM
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