Tornadoes, Prunes, and Angelina Jolips
Big News
The U.S. Senate rejected a call on Thursday for the withdrawal of U.S. combat forces from Iraq by year's end. This will allow President Bush to make another surprise visit to Baghdad on New Year's Eve.
- Maybe he'll invite Dick Clark.
The Supreme Court made it easier Thursday for police to barge into homes and seize evidence without knocking. This means Mom will now straighten up and vacuum twice a day.
June 16th
A guy in Eastbourne, England, set a world record on June 16th in 1971 by eating 130 prunes in a minute and a half. Before eating the prunes he had been suffering from severe irregularity. Afterward he almost died from severe regularity.
- For several days he could not be reached for comment.
On June 16th in 1882 a destructive tornado swept across the Midwestern U.S. A tornado is a huge concentration of wind that makes you wish you were somewhere else. It's nature's version of Howard Stern.
The New York Giants hosted the first Ladies’ Day baseball game on June 16th in 1883. They don’t have ladies days anymore. Ladies are big fans now and pay full price and scream at the umpire just as loud as the guys. In fact, you realize how far equality has come when you’re at the ballpark and some beautiful young lady spits on your shoes.
Father's Day Fun-Liners
The National Hollerin' Contest is this weekend in Dunn, North Carolina. Contestants will return next week for the National Laryngitis Festival.
Love & Learn
Drug Plan a Bitter Pill - No one said adding prescription drug coverage to the federal government's health insurance program for seniors would be easy.
Cutting the Cord - A chip from Staccato Communications makes it possible to integrate wireless capability into consumer products. The idea is to eliminate the need for cables to connect things like televisions and DVD players or computers and printers.
Mobile Music Gets Interesting - Every now and then something comes along that stands out from all the lesser advances. The Inno combines a portable XM Satellite radio receiver with an MP3 player and can deliver sound through its own headphones, through a car stereo, a home stereo, or a computer.
Shallow Thoughts
I just don't have any will power. Why can't somebody invent a dessert patch?
Our tax system is a graduated tax. From the day you graduate, you're taxed.
Hey, I don't ask for much. All I want is unlimited credit, my own tropical island, and Angelina Jolips sponging me down twice a day with coconut milk.
The U.S. Senate rejected a call on Thursday for the withdrawal of U.S. combat forces from Iraq by year's end. This will allow President Bush to make another surprise visit to Baghdad on New Year's Eve.
- Maybe he'll invite Dick Clark.
The Supreme Court made it easier Thursday for police to barge into homes and seize evidence without knocking. This means Mom will now straighten up and vacuum twice a day.
June 16th
A guy in Eastbourne, England, set a world record on June 16th in 1971 by eating 130 prunes in a minute and a half. Before eating the prunes he had been suffering from severe irregularity. Afterward he almost died from severe regularity.
- For several days he could not be reached for comment.
On June 16th in 1882 a destructive tornado swept across the Midwestern U.S. A tornado is a huge concentration of wind that makes you wish you were somewhere else. It's nature's version of Howard Stern.
The New York Giants hosted the first Ladies’ Day baseball game on June 16th in 1883. They don’t have ladies days anymore. Ladies are big fans now and pay full price and scream at the umpire just as loud as the guys. In fact, you realize how far equality has come when you’re at the ballpark and some beautiful young lady spits on your shoes.
Father's Day Fun-Liners
The National Hollerin' Contest is this weekend in Dunn, North Carolina. Contestants will return next week for the National Laryngitis Festival.
Love & Learn
Drug Plan a Bitter Pill - No one said adding prescription drug coverage to the federal government's health insurance program for seniors would be easy.
Cutting the Cord - A chip from Staccato Communications makes it possible to integrate wireless capability into consumer products. The idea is to eliminate the need for cables to connect things like televisions and DVD players or computers and printers.
Mobile Music Gets Interesting - Every now and then something comes along that stands out from all the lesser advances. The Inno combines a portable XM Satellite radio receiver with an MP3 player and can deliver sound through its own headphones, through a car stereo, a home stereo, or a computer.
Shallow Thoughts
I just don't have any will power. Why can't somebody invent a dessert patch?
Our tax system is a graduated tax. From the day you graduate, you're taxed.
Hey, I don't ask for much. All I want is unlimited credit, my own tropical island, and Angelina Jolips sponging me down twice a day with coconut milk.
posted by Joe Hickman at 2:50 PM
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