Mom's Proud: Eternal Flame in Potty Chair
Big News
Senate leaders reached a deal Thursday on reviving a broad immigration bill that could provide millions of illegal immigrants a chance to become American citizens. Republicans agreed to debate the bill after Democrats promised to sing, pray, and bash the President only in English.
Do you have a bird feeder in your yard? A bird flu expert says there's no need to stop feeding wild birds. Also -- that thing where you put Jell-O in the bird bath so you can watch 'em bounce -- you can carry on doing that too. (Toms Lake Humor Company)
Sunday is Mother’s Day. It seems like only yesterday Mom was telling you to hold your shoulders up and chew your food. As a matter of act, it was yesterday. (Alan Ray)
HaBlog Almanac
On May 12 in 1971, Mick Jagger married Bianca. The hardest part was trusting Keith Richards to hold the ring.
On May 12 in 1984, South African prisoner Nelson Mandela saw his wife for the first time in 22 years. Without missing a beat, he said "Is that a new outfit?"
Comedian George Carlin was born on May 12 in 1938. George's "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" are now the seven words most often heard on cable.
Florence Nightingale, the mother of modern nursing, was born on May 12 in 1820. Florence taught her students the three basic rules of nursing: keep the patient clean, keep the patient comfortable, and don't laugh when the patient's gown gaps open.
- Florence revolutionized the medical profession. She proved that more lives could be saved if the nurses took care of the patients and the doctors played golf.
Love & Learn
More Is Less for Many Home Entertainment System Users - You need a remote to turn on the TV, and you'll need another to turn on the home-theater receiver, and a third to turn on the cable box. And don't forget the TiVo remote. Our world is becoming more remote.
Baseball Scouts Give Little Attention to Short Pitchers - Of the many things that irked the late Billy Martin, two stood out: players fresh out of college and short pitchers. Unfortunately for Eddie Bane, he was both.
Films in Focus: New & Recent Releases - Quick reviews and rating of newly released films: Mission Impossible III, RV, Stick It, Hard Candy, American Dreamz, Sophie Scholl: The Sentinel, Friends with Money, others.
On Mother's Day
Mother's Day Fun-Liners
Give Mom a special treat on Mother's Day: Actually take her advice.
Mom's always been proud of me. In fact, she still keeps an eternal flame in my old potty chair.
Three important reminders for moms who expect to be served breakfast in bed on Mother's Day:
1. Look very proud.
2. Smile a lot.
3. Remember to pick the Cocoa Puffs out of your cleavage.
Senate leaders reached a deal Thursday on reviving a broad immigration bill that could provide millions of illegal immigrants a chance to become American citizens. Republicans agreed to debate the bill after Democrats promised to sing, pray, and bash the President only in English.
Do you have a bird feeder in your yard? A bird flu expert says there's no need to stop feeding wild birds. Also -- that thing where you put Jell-O in the bird bath so you can watch 'em bounce -- you can carry on doing that too. (Toms Lake Humor Company)
Sunday is Mother’s Day. It seems like only yesterday Mom was telling you to hold your shoulders up and chew your food. As a matter of act, it was yesterday. (Alan Ray)
HaBlog Almanac
On May 12 in 1971, Mick Jagger married Bianca. The hardest part was trusting Keith Richards to hold the ring.
On May 12 in 1984, South African prisoner Nelson Mandela saw his wife for the first time in 22 years. Without missing a beat, he said "Is that a new outfit?"
Comedian George Carlin was born on May 12 in 1938. George's "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" are now the seven words most often heard on cable.
Florence Nightingale, the mother of modern nursing, was born on May 12 in 1820. Florence taught her students the three basic rules of nursing: keep the patient clean, keep the patient comfortable, and don't laugh when the patient's gown gaps open.
- Florence revolutionized the medical profession. She proved that more lives could be saved if the nurses took care of the patients and the doctors played golf.
Love & Learn
More Is Less for Many Home Entertainment System Users - You need a remote to turn on the TV, and you'll need another to turn on the home-theater receiver, and a third to turn on the cable box. And don't forget the TiVo remote. Our world is becoming more remote.
Baseball Scouts Give Little Attention to Short Pitchers - Of the many things that irked the late Billy Martin, two stood out: players fresh out of college and short pitchers. Unfortunately for Eddie Bane, he was both.
Films in Focus: New & Recent Releases - Quick reviews and rating of newly released films: Mission Impossible III, RV, Stick It, Hard Candy, American Dreamz, Sophie Scholl: The Sentinel, Friends with Money, others.
On Mother's Day
Mother's Day Fun-Liners
Give Mom a special treat on Mother's Day: Actually take her advice.
Mom's always been proud of me. In fact, she still keeps an eternal flame in my old potty chair.
Three important reminders for moms who expect to be served breakfast in bed on Mother's Day:
1. Look very proud.
2. Smile a lot.
3. Remember to pick the Cocoa Puffs out of your cleavage.
posted by Joe Hickman at 1:06 PM
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