Another Month, Another War
Big News
The Israeli army pulled out from almost all of its positions in Lebanon on Sunday. So give 'em a week off, they'll be ready to hit somewhere else.
- There's just too many people who need attacking to let a good army goof off.
- And it's a lot easier now that pre-emptive strikes are okay.
The FBI's worried now that old-fashioned mobsters will team up with al-Qaida for the right price. They did not suggest raising the terrorist warning to red just yet in Atlantic City.
- But you may have to start taking off your shoes to buy lottery tickets.
October 2nd Now & Then
October used to be called Germanicus. But that sounded silly so they changed it to Herculeus. Then to Faustinus. But now October is called October because it's the 10th month and "octo" is Latin for "eight."
- I'm glad we cleared that up.
Charlie Brown and Snoopy were born on this date in 1950. In all these years Snoopy has learned that you can’t teach an old dog owner new tricks. But if he’s as slow as Charley Brown, you can keep playing the same old ones on him.
So what do you think, on their 56th anniversary, should they let Charley Brown pitch a winning game, Lucy win Shroeder’s heart, and Snoopy shoot down the Red Baron?
- Naw, nobody can relate to a bunch of winners.
The annual Okra Strut is this week in Irmo, South Carolina. Everybody tries to strut down Main Street, which is covered with boiled okra.
- Boiled okra is more slippery than raw oysters. The winner is the first person who can strut through town without breaking something vital.
Love & Learn
Inside People: Study Smart Approaches to Homework - Before you approach your children’s schoolwork, remember it’s their homework, not yours.
Lloyd Grove: Gossip - Bobby Brown drives too hard a bargain.
Caldwell - Bush, McCain and "torture."
Health on Wheels - Be ready with a car emergency kit that includes an AM/FM radio, medicated spray, bottled water and a first-aid kit.
Shallow Thoughts
You know you live in a tough neighborhood when the grubworms eat your lawnmower.
Thank goodness we don't have debtors' prisons anymore. There's be nobody to come visit all of us.
When our pastor preaches about hell, the congregation is so quiet you can hear their antiperspirant failing.
This just in. The city council has declared downtown a no-smoking area. It's a public health issue. They're afraid of exploding winos.
The Israeli army pulled out from almost all of its positions in Lebanon on Sunday. So give 'em a week off, they'll be ready to hit somewhere else.
- There's just too many people who need attacking to let a good army goof off.
- And it's a lot easier now that pre-emptive strikes are okay.
The FBI's worried now that old-fashioned mobsters will team up with al-Qaida for the right price. They did not suggest raising the terrorist warning to red just yet in Atlantic City.
- But you may have to start taking off your shoes to buy lottery tickets.
October 2nd Now & Then
October used to be called Germanicus. But that sounded silly so they changed it to Herculeus. Then to Faustinus. But now October is called October because it's the 10th month and "octo" is Latin for "eight."
- I'm glad we cleared that up.
Charlie Brown and Snoopy were born on this date in 1950. In all these years Snoopy has learned that you can’t teach an old dog owner new tricks. But if he’s as slow as Charley Brown, you can keep playing the same old ones on him.
So what do you think, on their 56th anniversary, should they let Charley Brown pitch a winning game, Lucy win Shroeder’s heart, and Snoopy shoot down the Red Baron?
- Naw, nobody can relate to a bunch of winners.
The annual Okra Strut is this week in Irmo, South Carolina. Everybody tries to strut down Main Street, which is covered with boiled okra.
- Boiled okra is more slippery than raw oysters. The winner is the first person who can strut through town without breaking something vital.
Love & Learn
Inside People: Study Smart Approaches to Homework - Before you approach your children’s schoolwork, remember it’s their homework, not yours.
Lloyd Grove: Gossip - Bobby Brown drives too hard a bargain.
Caldwell - Bush, McCain and "torture."
Health on Wheels - Be ready with a car emergency kit that includes an AM/FM radio, medicated spray, bottled water and a first-aid kit.
Shallow Thoughts
You know you live in a tough neighborhood when the grubworms eat your lawnmower.
Thank goodness we don't have debtors' prisons anymore. There's be nobody to come visit all of us.
When our pastor preaches about hell, the congregation is so quiet you can hear their antiperspirant failing.
This just in. The city council has declared downtown a no-smoking area. It's a public health issue. They're afraid of exploding winos.
posted by Joe Hickman at 2:18 PM
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