Let's Scare Everybody to Death!
Big News
President Bush said Thursday more still needs to be done to stop the terrorist threat. I don't know what else we can do -- except maybe sign up for duck classes.
- It might help to learn how to duck.
- Fear not, Mr. President. The Good Lord and the Democrats can handle it.
September 8th Now & Then
Today is Pardon Day, marking the day in 1974 when Richard Nixon was pardoned for not being a crook. Hey, I know it sounds weird, but that's just the way politicians think.
The "Tarzan" TV show debuted on this day in 1966. Ron Ely played Tarzan, but there was no Jane—so, of course, the show didn’t last.
- How could it? There was nobody to wash and iron Tarzan’s loin cloth.
- You can’t trust a monkey with a steam iron.
St. Augustine, Florida, was founded on this date in 1565. It was easy to recognize. It was the only town in America.
- The Native Americans would ride by St. Augustine and say, "What's that?"
- And the tribe psychic, Deputy Chief Crazy Goat, would say, "Ugh, that paleface city, future home of many potholes, tax increases, and chicken nuggets."
On this day in 1157, King Richard the Lion-Hearted was born. King Richard was famous for crusading all over the place with a giant sword and a red cross on his chest. He always surprised his enemies because they thought he was bringing doughnuts.
Love & Learn
Sight for Sore Eyes - A new eye surgery lets nearsighted people throw away their glasses and troublesome contact lenses.
Travel & Adventure - Hamburg and Berlin: Germany's big cities on the move.
Points on Pets - Feeding your cat only tuna or only other fish products can eventually cause serious health problems.
Lloyd Grove: Gossip - Getting the goods on Jessica Simpson swag.
Shallow Thoughts
The Dallas Cowboys have a great defense this year. Even an illegal immigrant couldn't sneak through that line.
Of course, I'm no expert on terrorism. In fact, everything I know about terrorism, I either taught myself or made up.
President Bush said Thursday more still needs to be done to stop the terrorist threat. I don't know what else we can do -- except maybe sign up for duck classes.
- It might help to learn how to duck.
- Fear not, Mr. President. The Good Lord and the Democrats can handle it.
September 8th Now & Then
Today is Pardon Day, marking the day in 1974 when Richard Nixon was pardoned for not being a crook. Hey, I know it sounds weird, but that's just the way politicians think.
The "Tarzan" TV show debuted on this day in 1966. Ron Ely played Tarzan, but there was no Jane—so, of course, the show didn’t last.
- How could it? There was nobody to wash and iron Tarzan’s loin cloth.
- You can’t trust a monkey with a steam iron.
St. Augustine, Florida, was founded on this date in 1565. It was easy to recognize. It was the only town in America.
- The Native Americans would ride by St. Augustine and say, "What's that?"
- And the tribe psychic, Deputy Chief Crazy Goat, would say, "Ugh, that paleface city, future home of many potholes, tax increases, and chicken nuggets."
On this day in 1157, King Richard the Lion-Hearted was born. King Richard was famous for crusading all over the place with a giant sword and a red cross on his chest. He always surprised his enemies because they thought he was bringing doughnuts.
Love & Learn
Sight for Sore Eyes - A new eye surgery lets nearsighted people throw away their glasses and troublesome contact lenses.
Travel & Adventure - Hamburg and Berlin: Germany's big cities on the move.
Points on Pets - Feeding your cat only tuna or only other fish products can eventually cause serious health problems.
Lloyd Grove: Gossip - Getting the goods on Jessica Simpson swag.
Shallow Thoughts
The Dallas Cowboys have a great defense this year. Even an illegal immigrant couldn't sneak through that line.
Of course, I'm no expert on terrorism. In fact, everything I know about terrorism, I either taught myself or made up.
posted by Joe Hickman at 2:36 PM
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