Clean Up or We Unleash Tipper!
Big News
Al Gore is threatening the U.S. and China to clean up the environment or face dire consequences... like unleashing Tipper to crusade for warning tattoos on the foreheads all politicians:
... G = Green
... PG = Phoney Green
... 2FP = 2-faced polluter
... OOPS = Owned by Oil Polluting Scum
... Y = Yuck!
My neighbor's dog is a Pit Bush. Every night he stays the course on my front lawn.
Love & Learn
Finer Than Wealth - When our hearts are empty, we collect "things." When our hearts are full, we tend to lose interest in most of the "stuff" of life.
Your Money; Consumer Tips - Experts discuss personal finance with an emphasis on consumer protection.
How to Lose the War Against Christmas Shopping - Never make a list. Buy strictly on impulse and charge everything so you won't have to pay for it until February. By February you could get hit by a truck. And nine other ways to seriously mess up.
Instilling values in your kids: Part 2 - A couple of weeks ago, we talked about ways to model for your your children good financial values to prepare them as financially responsible adults. These values aren't entirely about personal gain; I certainly believe that we would do well to instill in our children a sense of generosity and help them learn about our collective responsibility to help others.
Mythbusters - You've no doubt heard how Hispanic immigrants aren't assimilating, how they're defiantly refusing to learn English, and how this is so unlike previous waves of immigrants, who couldn't wait to jump into the melting pot. It's a popular belief. It's also not true.
Don't let family foibles keep you away from home on the holidays - Tom won't be the only turkey at the holiday dinner table. There's Aunt Betsy, the hypochondriac; brother Billy, who's tanked before the meal even gets started; sister Susie, as critical as ever; adult children who still whine, aging parents telling everyone what to do .... So what can you do this year to make things better?
Fashion Tips - No matter if you’re taking a trip down the catwalk or strutting the hallway in your office building, the people at Ford Models and other news sources will show you how to get that runway look.
Blithe Spirit - Watching President George W. Bush as he responded to the new National Intelligence Estimate on Iran's nuclear weapons capabilities called to mind one of the great quotes in sports history.
Christmas cookies are sweet tidings of comfort and joy - Personally, I prefer crispy cookies over soft and chewy, which is why I adore the Crispy Oatmeal Cookies, Cornmeal-Pecan Biscuits, Chocolate Swirled Shortbread, Chocolate Crackles, and Grandma's Snowballs. And if you're not drooling by now, you may need a drooler adjustment.
Kitchen and Bath Renovations - Learn from the pros how to remodel outdated kitchens and bathrooms, and how to make do-it-yourself repairs.
Shallow Thoughts
Hey, you'd be fat, too, if all you ever ate was milk and cookies and chicken fried reindeer.
Ever wonder where Santa gets the strength and stamina to visit so many homes in one night? Ever wonder if Santa's been tested for steroids?
I wasn't sure we could wait until Christmas. One of the presents under the tree was meowing. But it finally stopped.
We avoid any toy designed to improve motor development. Our kid's motor is already over-developed.
I got a Christmas catalog from a mortuary. If I die before Christmas, I get a free fruitcake.
Actually, armadillos aren't bad pets. If they just wouldn't make that awful clatter when they fall down the basement steps.
I played football. In fact, my senior year in high school I was awarded the Heisman Bench.
There was a crooked man, who walked a crooked mile; he ran a crooked race, and ended up in the Senate.
Al Gore is threatening the U.S. and China to clean up the environment or face dire consequences... like unleashing Tipper to crusade for warning tattoos on the foreheads all politicians:
... G = Green
... PG = Phoney Green
... 2FP = 2-faced polluter
... OOPS = Owned by Oil Polluting Scum
... Y = Yuck!
My neighbor's dog is a Pit Bush. Every night he stays the course on my front lawn.
Love & Learn
Finer Than Wealth - When our hearts are empty, we collect "things." When our hearts are full, we tend to lose interest in most of the "stuff" of life.
Your Money; Consumer Tips - Experts discuss personal finance with an emphasis on consumer protection.
How to Lose the War Against Christmas Shopping - Never make a list. Buy strictly on impulse and charge everything so you won't have to pay for it until February. By February you could get hit by a truck. And nine other ways to seriously mess up.
Instilling values in your kids: Part 2 - A couple of weeks ago, we talked about ways to model for your your children good financial values to prepare them as financially responsible adults. These values aren't entirely about personal gain; I certainly believe that we would do well to instill in our children a sense of generosity and help them learn about our collective responsibility to help others.
Mythbusters - You've no doubt heard how Hispanic immigrants aren't assimilating, how they're defiantly refusing to learn English, and how this is so unlike previous waves of immigrants, who couldn't wait to jump into the melting pot. It's a popular belief. It's also not true.
Don't let family foibles keep you away from home on the holidays - Tom won't be the only turkey at the holiday dinner table. There's Aunt Betsy, the hypochondriac; brother Billy, who's tanked before the meal even gets started; sister Susie, as critical as ever; adult children who still whine, aging parents telling everyone what to do .... So what can you do this year to make things better?
Fashion Tips - No matter if you’re taking a trip down the catwalk or strutting the hallway in your office building, the people at Ford Models and other news sources will show you how to get that runway look.
Blithe Spirit - Watching President George W. Bush as he responded to the new National Intelligence Estimate on Iran's nuclear weapons capabilities called to mind one of the great quotes in sports history.
Christmas cookies are sweet tidings of comfort and joy - Personally, I prefer crispy cookies over soft and chewy, which is why I adore the Crispy Oatmeal Cookies, Cornmeal-Pecan Biscuits, Chocolate Swirled Shortbread, Chocolate Crackles, and Grandma's Snowballs. And if you're not drooling by now, you may need a drooler adjustment.
Kitchen and Bath Renovations - Learn from the pros how to remodel outdated kitchens and bathrooms, and how to make do-it-yourself repairs.
Shallow Thoughts
Hey, you'd be fat, too, if all you ever ate was milk and cookies and chicken fried reindeer.
Ever wonder where Santa gets the strength and stamina to visit so many homes in one night? Ever wonder if Santa's been tested for steroids?
I wasn't sure we could wait until Christmas. One of the presents under the tree was meowing. But it finally stopped.
We avoid any toy designed to improve motor development. Our kid's motor is already over-developed.
I got a Christmas catalog from a mortuary. If I die before Christmas, I get a free fruitcake.
Actually, armadillos aren't bad pets. If they just wouldn't make that awful clatter when they fall down the basement steps.
I played football. In fact, my senior year in high school I was awarded the Heisman Bench.
There was a crooked man, who walked a crooked mile; he ran a crooked race, and ended up in the Senate.
posted by Joe Hickman at 1:55 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Joe, Could you just half try to hide your political affiliation? Some of your lines would be funny if it wasn't so obvious day in and day out that they are born out of hate.
Post a Comment
<< Home